Self-Respect: The Key to Everything
Self-Respect: The Key to Everything Read More »
Losing our self respect stems from the feeling that we compromised our own values, dignity, and boundaries.
Self-Respect: The Key to Everything Read More »
The Self-Compassion Effect
The Self-Compassion Effect Read More »
Self-compassion is nothing less than a paradigm shift after involvement with psychopath, narcissist, or any abuser. It can be transformational.
The Self-Compassion Effect Read More »
Forgiveness: The Other F-Word
Forgiveness: The Other F-Word Read More »
The idea that you have to forgive or you’re a bad person is untrue and detrimental. Instead of moving forward in your recovery, you expend energy trying to forgive and wondering what’s wrong with you since you can’t. There’s nothing wrong with you. You can’t forgive because the perpetrator does not deserve it and because what they did was unforgivable.
Forgiveness: The Other F-Word Read More »
The Cult of Two
We’ve all heard how hard it is to get out of a cult. It’s just as hard to get free of a cult of two.
Angry? There’s a Reason for That
Angry? There’s a Reason for That Read More »
It’s normal to feel anger and even rage in reaction to being thoroughly violated by someone without a conscience and is a walking moral wasteland. Fierce anger and indignation — outrage — is an appropriate response. It means is that you know you deserve to be treated with dignity and respect, and that you recognize that you weren’t.
Angry? There’s a Reason for That Read More »
DOUBT: Friend or Foe?
DOUBT: Friend or Foe? Read More »
Your doubts exist for a reason. In a healthy relationship, it’s not usual to be consumed by uncertainty or to be left doubting yourself.
DOUBT: Friend or Foe? Read More »
Moral Injury: The Hidden Wound to the Soul
Moral Injury: The Hidden Wound to the Soul Read More »
After being victimized by a psychopath, the rage we feel is moral outrage. The experience violated our deeply held moral values and defied our expectations of how others might behave.
Moral Injury: The Hidden Wound to the Soul Read More »
Backed Into an Emotional Corner
Backed Into an Emotional Corner Read More »
When you’re backed into an emotional corner, acting out does not mean you’re crazy, and it does not make you the abuser. It means you’re a normal person pushed to your limits by a manipulator.
Backed Into an Emotional Corner Read More »
At the Intersection of Truth and Lies: Self-Blame
At the Intersection of Truth and Lies: Self-Blame Read More »
Doubt and confusion don’t spontaneously resolve after the manipulation ends — they are ongoing, lasting until we can finally see the truth of what happened.
At the Intersection of Truth and Lies: Self-Blame Read More »
Emergency: Self-Blame
Emergency: Self-Blame Read More »
It makes no sense to say we were manipulated and lied to by a predator, and then claim that we were responsible. Both cannot be true at the same time.
Emergency: Self-Blame Read More »
The Most Powerful Motivator on the Planet: Intermittent Reinforcement
The Most Powerful Motivator on the Planet: Intermittent Reinforcement Read More »
The moment when the joy at finding love turns into the fear of losing it is called the ‘manipulative shift.’ When that happens, the psychopath takes control. This is when the devaluation stage begins.
The Most Powerful Motivator on the Planet: Intermittent Reinforcement Read More »
Down the Rabbit Hole
Down the Rabbit Hole Read More »
You fell down the rabbit hole. It never crossed your mind to question the things too good to be true, the things beyond imagination, the strange things. Why would you? They weren’t strange on that side of the looking glass — they were just part of the wonder of it all.
Down the Rabbit Hole Read More »
The Known, the Unknown, and the Unknowable
The Known, the Unknown, and the Unknowable Read More »
The unknown is encountered in the midst of the known. It manifests within what is usual and familiar, and hides there. The unknown is the serpent in paradise.
The Known, the Unknown, and the Unknowable Read More »
The Unique and Powerful Harm of Betrayal
The Unique and Powerful Harm of Betrayal Read More »
Betrayal is a uniquely devastating form of psychological harm. In Dante’s Inferno, betrayers were sent to the Ninth Circle, the lowest level of hell. Those of us who have experienced betrayal understand why.
The Unique and Powerful Harm of Betrayal Read More »
Your Own Personal Apocalypse
Your Own Personal Apocalypse Read More »
Many things that were buried under the rubble have been revealed. You see things you didn’t see before. Your rose-colored glasses are off, smashed somewhere amidst the ruins, and your eyes are opened to a clearer version of reality.
Your Own Personal Apocalypse Read More »
A Pearl of Truth and Wisdom
A Pearl of Truth and Wisdom Read More »
Love yourself. In what ways will you show yourself that love today? In what ways will you treat yourself kindly, lovingly, gently, and respectfully?
A Pearl of Truth and Wisdom Read More »
You Had the Power All Along
You Had the Power All Along Read More »
You held The Grail. The psychopath pursued you, for a reason. You were the one who had the power, and it never left you.
You Had the Power All Along Read More »
The Holy Grail of the Psychopath
The Holy Grail of the Psychopath Read More »
We have the capacity to heal and live fully again. Psychopaths are stuck in their empty void forever.
The Holy Grail of the Psychopath Read More »
The Game You Didn’t Know You Were Playing
The Game You Didn’t Know You Were Playing Read More »
When targeted by a psychopath,
we unwittingly become an opponent in a game we don’t even know we’re playing. The stakes are high and the odds are stacked in their favor. They make the rules, and play to win.
The Game You Didn’t Know You Were Playing Read More »
Protect Your Most Valuable Asset — YOU
Protect Your Most Valuable Asset — YOU Read More »
We can never be invulnerable to crime, unfortunately, but we can take steps to protect ourselves. What follows is a list of self-defense measures and resources for you to consider. It’s not an all-inclusive list by any means; it’s just a few ideas to get you started thinking about personal safety.
Protect Your Most Valuable Asset — YOU Read More »
After the Psychopath: Moving From Fear to Confidence
After the Psychopath: Moving From Fear to Confidence Read More »
Fear is part of the aftermath of trauma. The fear expands beyond the traumatic event that caused it, and we wonder, “what else might happen?” We are between places of safety, out in the open, seemingly without protection or defense.
After the Psychopath: Moving From Fear to Confidence Read More »
Convicted, Diagnosed and Institutionalized? Not Enough To Stop a Psychopath
Convicted, Diagnosed and Institutionalized? Not Enough To Stop a Psychopath Read More »
Imagine you’re working in a maximum security psychiatric hospital that houses sexually motivated predatory stalkers who are in the Sexually Violent Predator Program. Most are diagnosed psychopaths.This would be enough to keep you and your coworkers from being manipulated, seduced, and victimized… right?
Convicted, Diagnosed and Institutionalized? Not Enough To Stop a Psychopath Read More »
What Zombies Can Teach Us About Psychopaths
What Zombies Can Teach Us About Psychopaths Read More »
Nothing matters to psychopaths. Nothing has any inherent meaning, value, or worth to them. They live in a world of meaningless inanimate objects they care nothing about. Self-gratification is their only goal. That also describes zombies.
What Zombies Can Teach Us About Psychopaths Read More »
Emotion or Logic? Three Ways to Have Them Both
Emotion or Logic? Three Ways to Have Them Both Read More »
How can we prevent love from ‘getting in the way’ of seeing reality clearly, trusting our perceptions, and looking out for our best interests? It comes down to three things.
Emotion or Logic? Three Ways to Have Them Both Read More »
Face the Truth — What Can You Tell Just By Looking at Someone?
Face the Truth — What Can You Tell Just By Looking at Someone? Read More »
Can you tell who’s trustworthy or not, who’s a criminal, and who’s a narcissist or psychopath just by looking at someone’s face? Surprisingly, the answer may be “yes.”
Face the Truth — What Can You Tell Just By Looking at Someone? Read More »
From Adversity, Forge Meaning
From Adversity, Forge Meaning Read More »
How can we forge meaning and build identity from our biggest struggles?
From Adversity, Forge Meaning Read More »
From the Darkness, a Small Light Shines… A Holiday Wish
From the Darkness, a Small Light Shines… A Holiday Wish Read More »
Even if the holidays are a sad time for you this year, I hope you will find a small light that burns within you that illuminates hope, peace, and self-compassion. May that light — and all it shines upon — grow bigger and brighter with each day of the New Year.
From the Darkness, a Small Light Shines… A Holiday Wish Read More »
The Real Reason You Were Victimized By a Psychopath
The Real Reason You Were Victimized By a Psychopath Read More »
Shame is not your burden to carry. Neither is blame, from others or from yourself. What is there to feel shame for? Being a decent, loving and trusting human being?
The Real Reason You Were Victimized By a Psychopath Read More »
Resilience — You’ve Got It
Resilience — You’ve Got It Read More »
From adversity comes strength. Just as the hardest steel is forged in the hottest fires, we too are forged and strengthened by our own struggles and triumphs.
Resilience — You’ve Got It Read More »
Can We Ever Trust Again?
Can We Ever Trust Again? Read More »
It’s hard to trust others after what happened. And it’s hard to trust ourselves. After all, we didn’t see the truth of what was going on right before our eyes. But we have learned a lot since then.
Can We Ever Trust Again? Read More »
Is There a “Psycho” In a Psychopath?
Is There a “Psycho” In a Psychopath? Read More »
It is said that psychopaths aren’t insane, because they have an absence of delusions and other signs of irrational thinking. Is this correct? Something about it doesn’t seem quite right.
Is There a “Psycho” In a Psychopath? Read More »
Narcissist or Psychopath? What You Need To Know
Narcissist or Psychopath? What You Need To Know Read More »
Both are incredibly destructive to those unfortunate enough to become involved with them — but their thought processes, motivations, and intentions are as different as night and day.
Narcissist or Psychopath? What You Need To Know Read More »
Freedom: The Ultimate Relationship Litmus Test
Freedom: The Ultimate Relationship Litmus Test Read More »
Ask yourself: Am I free from fear? Free from shame? Free from uncertainty? Free from feelings of inadequacy that I didn’t have before? Free to express my emotions? Free to share my thoughts and opinions? Am I free to be myself?
Freedom: The Ultimate Relationship Litmus Test Read More »
Identifying a Psychopath: 20 Subtle and Hidden Signs
Identifying a Psychopath: 20 Subtle and Hidden Signs Read More »
Psychopaths keep their true nature hidden. Learn 20 subtle signs that just might give them away.
Identifying a Psychopath: 20 Subtle and Hidden Signs Read More »
Hocus-Pocus: It’s All In the Focus
Hocus-Pocus: It’s All In the Focus Read More »
Our own focus narrows, and we become oblivious to the world around us. Our sense of time is altered. Minutes seem like hours or hours seem like minutes. We are in a trance.
Hocus-Pocus: It’s All In the Focus Read More »
Shame: A Festering Wound of the Soul
Shame: A Festering Wound of the Soul Read More »
What heals shame? “Empathy is the antidote to shame,” Brene’ Brown writes. “The two most powerful words when we’re in struggle: Me Too.”
Shame: A Festering Wound of the Soul Read More »
Fear and Manipulation: Perfect Together
Fear and Manipulation: Perfect Together Read More »
In the process of the psychopathic bond, the moment when the joy at finding love turns into the fear of losing it is called the ‘manipulative shift.’ When that happens, the psychopath takes control.
Fear and Manipulation: Perfect Together Read More »
Compassion For the Psychopath?
Compassion For the Psychopath? Read More »
Even if they are afflicted with a neurobiological disorder, we are the ones who suffer because of it, not them. They experience contemptuous delight at the pain they purposely inflict upon us. They know right from wrong, but they don’t care. That does not inspire compassion.
Compassion For the Psychopath? Read More »
Fox in the Hen House: The Dangers of Forums
Fox in the Hen House: The Dangers of Forums Read More »
Traumatized people are at their most vulnerable when they turn to online forums in search of support. Unfortunately, I’ve heard from people who were re-victimized, and I experienced it myself. It was the last thing I needed and it set me back.
Fox in the Hen House: The Dangers of Forums Read More »
The Nemesis of the Psychopath: BOREDOM
The Nemesis of the Psychopath: BOREDOM Read More »
The thought of a bored psychopath is kind of scary. And yet the thought of a psychopath who isn’t bored is kind of scary, too. Seriously, though, psychopaths have a real problem with boredom. It hounds them continually, like the meaningless and destructive drive of an addiction.
The Nemesis of the Psychopath: BOREDOM Read More »
Shiny Objects: A Deeper Look at Idealization and Devaluation
Shiny Objects: A Deeper Look at Idealization and Devaluation Read More »
For a psychopath, to know you is to hate you. You didn’t really do anything wrong (although he wants you to think you did). Likewise, you weren’t idealized for anything you truly were, only for what the psychopath imagined you to be. But you are a real person, not a product of the psychopath’s imagination.
Shiny Objects: A Deeper Look at Idealization and Devaluation Read More »
In The Matrix of the Psychopath
In The Matrix of the Psychopath Read More »
The psychopath came along and fulfilled our desires by creating an illusory world of love, in order to enslave us and feed on us. We were existing in a matrix that the psychopath created, and we didn’t know it.
In The Matrix of the Psychopath Read More »
What Ebola Can Teach Us About Psychopaths
What Ebola Can Teach Us About Psychopaths Read More »
We start to realize that something strange is happening beneath the surface, but we can’t pull back. Love keeps us in the hot zone.
What Ebola Can Teach Us About Psychopaths Read More »
A Hidden Fact of Psychopaths: They Have No Gender
A Hidden Fact of Psychopaths: They Have No Gender Read More »
One kind of person who will surely not identify in a fixed way with anything about themselves is the psychopath. So why would they identify with a gender?
A Hidden Fact of Psychopaths: They Have No Gender Read More »
The Truth About Female Psychopaths, From Those Who Know
The Truth About Female Psychopaths, From Those Who Know Read More »
Behind the mask, female psychopaths are manipulative, cold-hearted, and lacking empathy, just like their male counterparts. Men who were once involved with psychopathic females tell their heartbreaking stories here.
The Truth About Female Psychopaths, From Those Who Know Read More »
Psychopathic Seduction Secrets, Revealed!
Psychopathic Seduction Secrets, Revealed! Read More »
Why is the seduction of the psychopath so powerful? Because it is the art of the con wrapped in the beautiful illusion of love.
Psychopathic Seduction Secrets, Revealed! Read More »
Walking Through the Shadow of the Uncanny Valley
Walking Through the Shadow of the Uncanny Valley Read More »
The psychopath I was involved with sometimes made strange and disturbing facial expressions. These faces struck me as being uncanny, meaning they were both familiar yet alien at the same time.
Walking Through the Shadow of the Uncanny Valley Read More »
The Big List of Psychopathy Characteristics, Part 3
The Big List of Psychopathy Characteristics, Part 3 Read More »
47 behavioral characteristics (attitudes and actions) of the psychopath.
The Big List of Psychopathy Characteristics, Part 3 Read More »
The Big List of Psychopathy Characteristics, Part 2
The Big List of Psychopathy Characteristics, Part 2 Read More »
The characteristics of psychopathy are divided into three groups: Cognitive (thought), affective (emotion), and behavior (actions). This list includes affective (emotional) characteristics of psychopathy. Again, these are things the psychopath tries to hide.
The Big List of Psychopathy Characteristics, Part 2 Read More »
The Big List of Psychopathy Characteristics, Part One
The Big List of Psychopathy Characteristics, Part One Read More »
This post covers the characteristics of how a psychopath thinks. These traits aren’t visible at first, but will be revealed over time as you notice incongruities between his persona and who he really seems to be. The mask always cracks sooner or later.
The Big List of Psychopathy Characteristics, Part One Read More »
BOUNDARIES: Protect Yourself After a Pathological Relationship
BOUNDARIES: Protect Yourself After a Pathological Relationship Read More »
It gets to the heart of the matter of boundaries for survivors of pathological relationships.
BOUNDARIES: Protect Yourself After a Pathological Relationship Read More »
Spaceship Moments: Psychopaths Say the Darndest Things
Spaceship Moments: Psychopaths Say the Darndest Things Read More »
There were so many strange things he said. Out of place. Out of context. Out of the blue. I had come to think of them as “Spaceship Moments.”
Spaceship Moments: Psychopaths Say the Darndest Things Read More »
Should You Forgive the Psychopath?
Should You Forgive the Psychopath? Read More »
There are many arguments in favor of forgiveness, but are they valid? I don’t mean valid to your mother or your pastor or your best friend, but to you.
Should You Forgive the Psychopath? Read More »
Never Trust Your Gut…Unless it Tells You to RUN
Never Trust Your Gut…Unless it Tells You to RUN Read More »
“Always trust your gut.” That’s what common wisdom tells us. We’ve got our built-in Spidey Sense working behind the scenes to protect us, if only we would listen. Or… maybe not.
Never Trust Your Gut…Unless it Tells You to RUN Read More »