WHAT MAKES PSYCHOPATHS SUCH SAVVY SEDUCERS?
HOW DO SUCH COLD AND CALCULATING PREDATORS MAKE THEMSELVES SEEM ALLURING AND DESIRABLE?
FINALLY, HERE THEY ARE…
SEDUCTION SECRETS OF THE PSYCHOPATH
♥ Psychopaths have a grandiose, unshakable, pathological sense of self-confidence.
♥ They feel no fear, so they have no social anxiety. They can approach anyone without becoming nervous.
♥ They are compulsive, unrepentant liars who will say anything to get what they want. They have no integrity, so honesty means nothing to them
♥ They’re predators, so they focus on their target like a laser beam. It’s the focus of a predator on his prey, adorned with a smile. Literally.
♥ That intense focus allows them to be totally present, which feels so very pleasing to the target.
♥ They have no identity, so they can be whomever their target needs them to be. They put on personas the way others put on a pair of pants.
♥ They’re astute psychologists with the ability to clearly and easily see someone’s vulnerabilities.
♥ Manipulation comes naturally, so they know just how to exploit those vulnerabilities.
♥ They also manipulate so well because they have no other way of dealing with people and no other reason for dealing with them.
♥ They have no conscience, so they don’t feel bad about anything they do. They have no problem looking themselves in the eye after manipulating, using and damaging someone.
♥ They have no morals. They know the difference between right and wrong, but they just don’t care.
♥ They have no ability to love, but they have the ability to act as if they do.
♥ They don’t honor commitments, but they don’t hesitate to make them anyway if it gets them what they want.
♥ They take no responsibility for their own actions.
♥ They become bored quickly, which drives them to move from one victim to the next to the next.
♥ Their lives are an empty and meaningless game, so they have nothing better to do or more meaningful to offer.
Why is the seduction of the psychopath so powerful?
Because it is the art of the con wrapped in the beautiful illusion of love.
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“The BEST Manual on how to protect yourself from becoming a victim again.. I am going to recommend it to the facilitators in the divorce support group I am attending.”
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“This is a short, easy to understand textbook on manipulation tactics. I highly recommend it to anyone; people who don’t yet realize what’s happening to them, seekers of understanding and peace, loved ones of persons being manipulated, healthcare providers, criminal justice, and seasoned survivors trying to stay on top of their manipulation detection game. Don’t let the modest price tag on this fool you –- the information inside is worth far more.”
“Such a great gem. One of my favorite books about this subject as the author paints such a clear picture of what these relationships are like.”
“Practical, concise, well-written and researched. Everyone should have a copy of this book. In fact, they should give one to every high school student. That would prevent a lot of people from getting involved in ‘?relationships’? with these hidden, manipulative predators. An easy five stars, I wish I could give it a hundred!”
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I think they feel some kind of evil happiness and grandiosity after they successfully manipulated someone. The damage they cause to good willing people strengthens their sick sense of being.
Unfortunately, that’s true.
Hi Admin, you can goof all you want. We appreciate the time you put into your website. I still read as much as I can, but I’ve come to terms with the shock of experiencing and learning that evil in fact exists and it’s just not stupidity. (That too exists!) And while I’m not happy to live in a world with evil, I do know that I won’t be with them in the afterlife. And until then, I’m going to love and give as often as I can to those worthy. Have a great day!
I guess you picked up on the sarcasm ;-) Of course those really are their secrets, but they’re nothing anyone would want to or could emulate.
I’m happy to hear it, and I’m going to do the same.
I am 6 months since no contact. I am better now. I have got back to my routine life. But can anyone believe that I actually miss the abuse?
I’m interpreting that as you saying you miss the ‘sweet’ part of the ‘mean – sweet’ cycle. Is that right?
Glad to hear you’re still no contact and back to your routine!
i think you miss the hope of love from the love bombing and not the abuse. I am still in such shock from learning all I was blind to. I am sick everyday at the thought of such a person. I think there are 2 stages, mourning the loss of love, and sickness and shock of the danger we put ourselves in. I am in the second stage and have lost so much weight from the stress of regret.
I think you’ve summed up the two stages very well, although they happened simultaneously for me. As far as regret goes, you can’t change the past. I wish there was a rewind button somewhere, but I haven’t found it yet. The important thing is to learn all you can about the whole thing. It’s also important to forgive yourself for becoming his victim, because it wasn’t your fault. He was the one at fault. Your ability to love was what enabled him to victimize you, and loving is a strength, not a weakness. Have compassion for yourself. Love yourself, be kind to yourself, and take good care of yourself. You deserve it. Truly.
You may want to read the following posts:
https://psychopathsandlove.com/post-traumatic-growth/
https://psychopathsandlove.com/your-journey-is-the-heros-journey/
All this information is striking.
It has been really hard to admit I fell in love for a psychopath. But I studied some psycholigy. When I realized her total lack of empaty (ad a monstrous levels) I had to admit to mysel what she was. And this is the second time in my life I’ve fell for one. But this time my life has been torn apart.
I’m very sorry to hear that. I found it hard to admit, too, and when I did, no one believed me.
Over 20 years, he made me so weak, because he disarmed, disabled and very nearly destroyed me, and my children. He did this because he used my love, tolerance, understanding, honesty and generosity against me, but will the meek inherit the earth? We have to use our collective knowledge and ensure we will, all thanks to Admin and the probing posts xxx
Yes, all thanks to me ;-) I hope I will play a part in it.
I would like to write a post about how they use our best qualities — our STRENGTHS — against us. Never mind the weaknesses — they’ll use anything they can.
This is an excellent, on target, and complete list, short and straight to the point. It accurately defines the psychopath and what he is and what he does. Thank you for compiling it.
You’re welcome, Annette! Thank you for letting me know.
I can’t thank you enough for the information and research and the sometimes shocking
evidence or clarity you present that I couldn’t pinpoint before finding your Blog.
You’re welcome, Emma. I’m so glad you find the website useful. A lot of it is shocking, but I try to tell it like it is, and hope it gets through the cognitive dissonance and the general disbelief that people could actually be so different. :-)
I read somewhere that psychopaths, because of their ability to get what they want without inhibition or remorse, could be looked upon as an evolutionary human being by natural selection.
Is it my perception that there seems to be are more around than the stated incidence? Or is it because we now recognise them as such now?
I don’t know if there are more of them or if it’s just that we recognize them now. It could be either, but we may never know for sure, as psychopathy is NOT even an official diagnosis. And the reason for that is that it’s too hard to diagnose. It is not in the DSM, the diagnostic bible of the mental health profession, which contains every psychiatric diagnosis that is deemed to exist. Because of this, funding for psychopathy research is almost non-existent. Research for schizophrenia gets 100 times more funding than psychopathy does. Part of the reason is that schizophrenics are seen as victims, while psychopaths are dismissed as predators. You can read all of this here: http://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2008/11/10/suffering-souls
Wow! Everything I’ve read has been very enlightening and I can’t believe I fell for it!! It was all there…the Triangulation, Minimizing, Empty words, the Gaslighting, etc, etc, etc. After being in an emotionally abusive marriage(for 15+ years) and divorced for a little over a year, I met my psychopath!! You’d think I would have learned the first time but then again the presentation was completely different and he was introduced by a friend, he must be a nice guy. The P got me with his charm!!! My ex was just a miserable person and was angry at the world so this was refreshing to me to be charmed like that!! I had been with the P for 3 years. When we met he had been only separated for 9 months and it took another 2 years before his divorce was final. In the relationship, I actually sensed that something was amiss but couldn’t put my finger on it. He was very sneaky and always seemed to have a hidden agenda. I knew something was up but was just accused of being insecure and a jealous crazy biotch. I put on my detective cap and discovered a few things that should have made me run but I stayed, even after talking to another chic he had on the “line”. She was pissed off as well and claimed nothing had happened between them, and so did he and I fell for his bull sh!t lies. Well, he charmed his was back in, again and again and again. Lies, Lies and more lies!! I broke it off so many times that I’ve lost track but I wasn’t strong enough to keep away, plus he made me feel that I was just an emotional person and that I was reading into things and creating issues that weren’t there. Why then, after each time we got back together and he promised to change and was on his best behavior for a few weeks, did I feel that things were going back to square one with me feeling on edge whenever I would think about the relationship. We did have our good times, our laughs but they were short lived. He stole so many happy times from me, I was so miserable but he claimed to “love” me and told me I was his sole mate and that he has never felt this way about anyone else, even his ex-wife of 17 years. Our sexual connection was great but then again that is one of their strong points, right??? Why is it that my sisters, even my teenage daughter could see how he was and not me!! I think that’s what upsets me the most. I finally broke it off for good and it’s been 2 months. Thank god for my sister in law keeping me strong!! I have blocked his numbers and the next step is to block his email address because he has been e-mailing me on and off for the past 2 months. To make things worse, My boss and her husband are close friends with the P and I can already sense that he is bad mouthing me to the point that makes him look like the victim and me the crazy biotch!! She of all people should get it…she is married to a controlling manipulator that sneaks around behind her back but she turns a blind eye to it because she isn’t strong enough to stand up for herself!! But that is her problem, but sadly she knows it!! Thanks for listening! It has helped tremendously to read up on all of this and realize that I’m a pretty sane person and that I’m not alone in this!! Not so sure I want to date anymore!! Pretty sad to think about not having a partner because of the type of person I am, I enjoy being in a relationship, if it is a healthy one!! Sorry this is so long..I guess I have a lot to get off my chest!! ;0)
I hear from so many people who say they were victimized shortly after a divorce. They know when we’re vulnerable, that’s for sure.
Your whole story is classic. In so many ways, it’s my story and everyone else’s who visits this site. It’s as if they work from some genetic script. The harm is immeasurable. I’m sorry this happened to you.
It’s only been two months, so please give yourself plenty of time to heal (especially because it was back-to-back with an abusive marriage). Take good care of yourself.
Hi Admin
I finally managed to escape with our two kids, third time lucky! He abused our two daughters, manipulated my family and of course he has done nothing! He is ignorant of the fact that he has done anything wrong despite 6 charges against him. I hope they lock him up, each day is a struggle to continue especially as I am suffering with post traumatic stress. I got out with my life and that is more than a lot of woman have – my priority now is staying safe and protecting and re-building the lives of my kids….
I hope they lock him up and throw the key into hell. May you and your daughters recover fully, and go on to live the happy life you deserve. Best wishes.
I would like to thank you for helping me identify what has happ to me. I would like to receive the article: Stages of the Psychopathic Bond. I was re-reading it today and the link disappeared and I cannot retrieve it.
The article was so very helpful and I want to share it with every woman I know including my two daughters.
Hi Melinda. Glad you found the article so helpful! Here is a link (the page is also in the main menu up top) Stages of the Psychopathic Bond I hope it’ll help your daughters and friends stay safe xx