Psychopaths put on quite a show
to gain our love and trust. They create a grand illusion, complete with arrow-slinging cupids and fireworks worthy of the Fourth of July. To be able to do that they have to pretend to be something they’re not, day after day. They know if we see what they really are, they won’t have a chance in hell with us. For a person who is no more than an emotionless, loveless and conscienceless predator, it must take an awful lot of effort to pull that off.
Don’t take my word for it. Here it is, straight from a psychopath:
“Wearing a mask 365 days a year is difficult. The masks a psychopath must wear are just as chafing as any real one. All masks are stifling, and it doesn’t take long to feel that itch that can encompass you like wildfire. Skin rubbing and scraping against this superficial identity. It’s no surprise the temptation to tear it off is powerful. The effort of sustaining a semblance of normalcy is beyond comprehension. I’m positive this build up of frustration, irritation, and ire is what lends us toward acting more sinisterly when backs are turned. Being ‘good’ is a pain in the ass.”
What is all that effort for? Why do they twist themselves into such maddening and painful contortions?
Simply put, they do it to get something we have that they don’t have. We have something they desperately need, something they can’t live without. But no matter how hard or how many times they try, they can never get it. That’s the sum total of their lives — trying to get something we have and they need, but can never obtain. We hold the Holy Grail of the Psychopath. And because of that, it was we who had the power all along. We just didn’t know it. Now we do, and we’ll never forget it.
This struck me like lightening when I read a recent comment by a reader named Nunc Coepi (which means ‘and now we begin’):
“I finally put down my Ace of Spades.
All his cards fell, and he ran away.”
We were the ones holding the Ace, the ones who really had the power and control all along. If only we had known! They did everything possible so we wouldn’t see that we held the winning hand the whole time. All they had was a marked deck that was more than a few cards short.
Supposedly, they feel utter contempt for us. In truth, it’s only a projection of the utter contempt they have for themselves. Their grandiosity is only an illusion, one that must be maintained at all costs to keep the truth at bay. What they really feel for us is envy, such instense envy that it is capable of annihilating them. In order to keep their delusions intact, they try to annihilate us instead. They can’t get what they really want, so they settle for the booby prize — the temporary fix of contemptuous delight they get from devaluing us. But it is not enough, not what they really want, so they immediately start their fruitless search again.
Psychopaths are envious of us and greedy for what we have. Their envy is hatred of the good object and their greed is the desire to have all the ‘contents’ of the good object, according to psychopathy expert Reid Meloy, PhD.
So what is it that they really want? What are these “contents of the good object” they need so badly? What are they trying to get when they capture us, put us into a stupor and then attempt to suck us dry, like ravenous, dessicated vampires?
The answer is contained in the following words, written by a psychopath:
“What is there to fear? Fear itself? Why? What is fear? Some people really fear death. Some people really fear not fearing death. That’s really the scariest thing, isn’t it? Because if you don’t fear death, what kind of shit life are you living?
Why am I writing this? What is my point? Maybe that’s my point, life is pointless, this is pointless. What do you have to do tomorrow? Think about it — errands to run, people to see, lies to tell, people to fuck over and placate and screw over and substantiate. Does it make you happy? Does it make you sad? Does it make you angry? If you can tell, if you could answer those questions, THAT is the difference between you and me…
I feel nothing.
When you sit a person down on your brand new comforter and put a gun to their head what do you expect to feel? When you watch a man holding his dying dog over a fucking gutter as the blood mingles with sweat and tears and it cascades to the earth like a morbid waterfall, what do you expect to feel? Anguish, incredulity, fucking outrage, disgust, fear, empathy? What?
Now tell me, how do you feel when none of those feelings happen? When nothing you see or do can start your heart? You’re dead. You’re a walking corpse.
Welcome to life after death.”
That is profound.
Life is what a psychopath really wants. They see that we have it, and they want to take it. Life is the Holy Grail of the Psychopath.
They want to be alive, to walk among the living. They want our life force; they want to fill themselves with it and feel it and live in full color, but instead they end up dragging us down into their black-and-white, two-dimensional world. They blame us for not getting what they wanted, and then devalue and abuse.
I hope that someday a cure will be found for this terrible disorder that destroys everyone it touches. Luckily, we have the capacity to heal and live fully again. Psychopaths are stuck in their empty void forever.
♥ You hold the grail. You had all the power all along.
*Quotes in this post are from ZKM of Sociopath Domain, “Life, Death and Suicide” (Warning: some readers may find the content and images disturbing)
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