Of course you’re grieving. But wait a minute, you tell yourself. You shouldn’t be grieving because you know this person didn’t really love you.
Feelings of loss and grief
Acceptance isn’t the final stage in some neat and orderly process; it helps you move through the process. The first thing you might need to accept is that you’re having periods of strong emotion that often feel unbearable.
The unknown is encountered in the midst of the known. It manifests within what is usual and familiar, and hides there. The unknown is the serpent in paradise.
Many things that were buried under the rubble have been revealed. You see things you didn’t see before. Your rose-colored glasses are off, smashed somewhere amidst the ruins, and your eyes are opened to a clearer version of reality.
You are not alone. Many of us have had thoughts and feelings that at one time felt unbearable. There are people who care that will help you get through this.
Part of that trauma — and one that takes some victims by surprise — are feelings of profound loss and deep grief. This may not happen right away. But as things start to resolve and it becomes more quiet inside, grief is often what’s left standing, waiting for your attention.
In your darkest hours, you may wonder if you will ever heal from something as awful as what you have been through, having been the victim of a psychopath. Where do you go from here?