Betrayal. Victimization. Devastation. Confusion.
A profound loss of faith in God, in Humanity, in Justice.
How can we ever recover?
I hear from many people who tell me they were destroyed by their experience with a psychopath. If you believe you were, please reconsider. You don’t have to go through the rest of your life crippled by this experience. It is possible to recover from this adversity and go on to live a healthy, fulfilling life.
What does it take?
I love that word. It shines like a glint of light reflected from strong, smooth steel. From great adversity comes great strength. Just as the hardest steel is forged in the hottest fires, we too are forged and strengthened by our own struggles and triumphs.
Resilience is that indefinable quality that allows us to be knocked down and then come back stronger than ever. Rather than letting devastation defeat us, we find a way to rise like a phoenix from the ashes. Resiliency is your capacity for psychological and spiritual renewal and recovery in the face of trauma and even disaster.
“Your soul has a resiliency and a capacity to endure suffering that is beyond anything you can imagine.”
~ Bryant McGill
Resilience doesn’t mean having immutable, fortress-like protection in the face of human experience. We are deeply affected by our experiences, and even forever transformed…sometimes for the better.
Resilience is not a trait you either have or don’t have. It can be learned and developed by anyone. How? Going through a serious trauma will usually do the job. That’s how I found my capacity for resilience. It was one of my greatest discoveries in the wake of the psychopath in my life.
“Persistence and resilience only come from having been given the chance to work though difficult problems.”
~ Gever Tulley
At first, we endure. We get through the day simply because somehow we keep breathing.
One day, we respond — our survival instinct kicks in and we take action. The act of engaging in some type of response is integral to healing from trauma. You’re here reading this, and that is a significant act of self-affirmation.
We reflect. Periods of stillness revive and strengthen us. Reflection allows us to give meaning and significance to our experience. When we give something meaning, we can consider not only the challenge we’re experiencing —we can also consider our intentions, our higher purpose, and the principles of living we hold dear.
Resilience can be envisioned in many ways. We can be inspired to create our own version of resilience that tolerates and responds to adversity in a way that honors what we believe are the most precious gifts of being alive.
Resilience helps you find meaning in times of trouble and even gain confidence from overcoming adversity. In this way, resilience contributes to a deeply satisfying life.
Keep going, even when the going is uncertain and slow. Consider embracing authenticity instead of perfection.
“The cave you fear to enter holds the treasure you seek.”
For more on resilience and growth after trauma, please read the article ‘Post-Traumatic Growth.’
♥ You are forged by fire
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