“I can’t go on. I’ll go on.”
Most of us have said those words in the aftermath of a psychopath. At first, we think “I can’t go on.” Those days are the darkest.
At some point, we dare to think “I’ll go on,” even though we’re not sure how. We can see beyond the end of the world, but we’re not sure what we will find or how we will get there.
We are standing amidst the rubble of our own personal apocalypse.
Hopes and dreams and plans and promises lay strewn about in unsalvageable tatters. Time evaporates along with them, months and years lost forever beneath the ruins.
Worst of all, our trust in others and in ourselves is reduced to charred and smoldering bits, along with our beliefs about life and the world. Your life was changed beyond recognition by a force outside your knowledge and comprehension. Even worse, that force was someone you thought you knew, someone you loved and trusted.
Only fear and pain remained, unscathed and stronger than ever.
Those who haven’t experienced a psychopath would read what I’ve written so far, and say I was being overly dramatic. Those of us who have, know that what I’ve written so far is an accurate description.
But what will you find in that place you see beyond the end of the world, after making your long and difficult journey?
That is entirely up to you.
Usually, people go through life without experiencing something so destructive that it blows their entire world to bits. They can hold on to the things that get them by and live a pretty benign day-to-day existence, same as it ever was. There’s nothing wrong with that.
But you don’t have that option anymore.
Many things have been buried under the rubble, but even more have been revealed. Things are different now. You see things you didn’t see before. Your rose-colored glasses are off, smashed somewhere amidst the ruins, and your eyes are opened to a clearer version of reality. Each new insight leads to another.
You may find you don’t tolerate time-wasting games anymore, from others or from yourself. You may find that you can easily spot those now. You may find that you aren’t so easily upset, angered or frustrated as you were in the past.
You may find that you appreciate the good things more, and the simple things. The real things. You may find that you now have a lot more room for these things in your life, since everything else was obliterated. You may find that you are very picky about what you let into your new world.
You will go on. The question is, what will you go on to? What will you find after your long journey to beyond the end of the world?
Under the rocks and stones, there is water flowing.
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