The two traits all abusive people have in common: They lack empathy and they are manipulative.
Emotional reciprocity, love and belonging are essential human needs, and if these needs are not being met, then mental and physical health will suffer.
Intimacy has to do with trust, understanding, and feeling understood. Intensity, on the other hand, is all about drama, anxiety, uncertainty, and fear.
The following are all invalidating statements that either minimize your feelings, deny your perceptions, order you to feel differently, tell you how you should feel, or put you on a guilt trip for thinking or feeling the way you do:
When you’re backed into an emotional corner, acting out does not mean you’re crazy, and it does not make you the abuser. It means you’re a normal person pushed to your limits by a manipulator.
When targeted by a psychopath,
we unwittingly become an opponent in a game we don’t even know we’re playing. The stakes are high and the odds are stacked in their favor. They make the rules, and play to win.
The truth is very difficult to understand from our own frame of reference. It’s important to understand it eventually, though, because it’s these differences that cause the harm we experience.
After our experience in a psychopathic bond, we are shaken to our core. The firm foundation we believed we stood on crumbled beneath us. We find ourselves in a liminal place — a place of ‘in-between.’
Emotional manipulation can be so subtle and undercover that it can control you for quite a while before you figure out what’s happening, if you ever do. Learn how.