Dark Night of the Collective Soul
What becomes of a society when the mad dogs take over? What becomes of us when morality has nothing to do with anything?
Trauma
MALIGNANT NARCISSISM: Even Worse Than It Sounds
A malignant narcissist is like taking a psychopath, a narcissist, and a hostile, paranoid sadist, and rolling them all into one.
Dark Night of the Soul: A Spiritual and Existential Crisis
Although it resembles depression—nothing makes sense anymore, there’s no purpose to anything—a dark night of the soul is a much different experience.
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Innocence Lost, Identity Shaken
Loss of innocence. Shattered hopes and dreams. Identity crisis. These are common feelings among those of us who’ve been through the trauma of a relationship with a psychopath.
A MUST-READ If You Ask Yourself “WHY DID I STAY?” or “WHY CAN’T I LEAVE?”
Why did you stay? If you’re still involved, why can’t you leave? Find out now. In the process, free yourself from needless self-blame and shame.
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Curiosity Killed the Cat: The Harbingers of Intuition
A harbinger foreshadows what is to come. That gives me a little shudder. These messengers of intuition are sometimes our only clue to some subtle red flag that slips by us.
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Objectification and Dehumanization in Abusive Relationships
When we are seen as an object, we aren’t considered a separate, whole, real and meaningful person with our own thoughts, feelings and perceptions. We are simply an object with no meaning except to gratify desires.
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Psychopathic Medicine and The White Wall of Silence
Medicine’s white wall of silence keeps knowledge of a physician’s incompetence hidden from the public, while the physician continues to practice.
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Feeling Crazy? Unstable? Unhinged?
If you’re doubting your own sanity, rest assured that if your symptoms started during the abusive relationship, you are experiencing post-traumatic stress.
First, Do No Harm: Abusive Psychotherapists
How can you tell if your therapist is crossing the line, or is engaging in poor therapy that is harming you or has the potential to do so? This post is not intended to scare anyone away from trying therapy. There are good therapists who are able to make a real difference in people’s lives.
Persistence of Memory: The Phenomenon of Intrusive Thoughts
“It feels like a thorn in my brain.” That’s how one reader described the intrusive thoughts that plague us long after a psychopath is out of our lives. I’m here to reassure you that the intrusive thoughts will eventually fade away.
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EMPATHY: What It Is and Why You Need It
Emotional reciprocity, love and belonging are essential human needs, and if these needs are not being met, then mental and physical health will suffer.
Forgiveness: The Other F-Word
The idea that you have to forgive or you’re a bad person is untrue and detrimental. Instead of moving forward in your recovery, you expend energy trying to forgive and wondering what’s wrong with you since you can’t. There’s nothing wrong with you. You can’t forgive because the perpetrator does not deserve it and because what they did was unforgivable.
DOUBT: Friend or Foe?
Your doubts exist for a reason. In a healthy relationship, it’s not usual to be consumed by uncertainty or to be left doubting yourself.
Moral Injury: The Hidden Wound to the Soul
After being victimized by a psychopath, the rage we feel is moral outrage. The experience violated our deeply held moral values and defied our expectations of how others might behave.
The Unique and Powerful Harm of Betrayal
Betrayal is a uniquely devastating form of psychological harm. In Dante’s Inferno, betrayers were sent to the Ninth Circle, the lowest level of hell. Those of us who have experienced betrayal understand why.
Your Own Personal Apocalypse
Many things that were buried under the rubble have been revealed. You see things you didn’t see before. Your rose-colored glasses are off, smashed somewhere amidst the ruins, and your eyes are opened to a clearer version of reality.
Can We Ever Trust Again?
It’s hard to trust others after what happened. And it’s hard to trust ourselves. After all, we didn’t see the truth of what was going on right before our eyes. But we have learned a lot since then.
Shame: A Festering Wound of the Soul
What heals shame? “Empathy is the antidote to shame,” Brene’ Brown writes. “The two most powerful words when we’re in struggle: Me Too.”
Fox in the Hen House: The Dangers of Forums
Traumatized people are at their most vulnerable when they turn to online forums in search of support. Unfortunately, I’ve heard from people who were re-victimized, and I experienced it myself. It was the last thing I needed and it set me back.
Shiny Objects: A Deeper Look at Idealization and Devaluation
For a psychopath, to know you is to hate you. You didn’t really do anything wrong (although he wants you to think you did). Likewise, you weren’t idealized for anything you truly were, only for what the psychopath imagined you to be. But you are a real person, not a product of the psychopath’s imagination.
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Liminality, the Unsettling Space of In-Between
After our experience in a psychopathic bond, we are shaken to our core. The firm foundation we believed we stood on crumbled beneath us. We find ourselves in a liminal place — a place of ‘in-between.’
Are You Contemplating Ending Your Life?
You are not alone. Many of us have had thoughts and feelings that at one time felt unbearable. There are people who care that will help you get through this.
Book Review: The Other Side of Charm: Your Memoir, by H.G. Beverly
I’ve read many books on the subject of psychopathic abuse, but none even comes close to exposing the diabolical minds of these predators or the harm suffered by their victims to the degree this book does.
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Advice for Dealing with a Violent Ex
I got a comment from a terrified reader with a violent ex who didn’t know where to turn.
Psychopaths and Love, the Book, is Now Available
“If you have been the victim of a psychopath or you think you may be the next target of a psychopath, this book lays it all out for you. It is short, succinct, and gets right to the core of the predator.” J. Hunter
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The Three Most Powerful Words Should Never Be a Lie
In the case of the psychopath, “I love you” is always a lie because they aren’t capable of love. They use these words as a means to their own ends because they know the enormous power those words have over those of us who are capable of love.
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How to Help a Friend Victimized by a Psychopath
How can you help a friend who was victimized by a psychopath or going through any hard time in their life? By having empathy. Judging someone’s feelings, finding them to be invalid and then withholding support, is the opposite of empathy.