“In the desert, an old monk once advised a traveler that the voices of God and the Devil are barely distinguishable.”
~ Loren Eiseley
“Three things cannot be long hidden: the sun, the moon, and the truth.” ~ Buddha
“I remember at times thinking, ‘I’m sleeping with the devil.'” ~anonymous
“Your greatest enemy will hide in the last place you would ever look.” ~Caesar
“Never let the other person use absence, create pain and conflict, to keep you, the seduced, on tenterhooks.” ~ Robert Greene, The Art of Seduction
“The psychopath becomes not only the tormentor, but also the person who brings relief from the torment.” ~Victims and Survivors of Psychopaths
“Know what you are dealing with. This sounds easy but in fact can be very difficult. All the reading in the world cannot immunize you from the devastating effects of psychopaths. Everyone, including the experts, can be taken in, conned, and left bewildered by them.”
~ Robert Hare, PhD., author of Without Conscience
“The more infrequently the crumbs of love are offered, the more hooked you are. You become conditioned, like a rat in a cage.” ~ unknown
“Why is the seduction of the psychopath so powerful? Because it is the art of the con wrapped in the beautiful illusion of love.”
~ anonymous
“Eternally hungry, eternally empty, eternally stalking the one thing that makes you human and the one thing they will always lack, they want to consume your anima like a double cheeseburger and then discard what’s left of you like an empty fast-food container.” ~ Thomas Sheridan, “Defeated Demons”
“I apply the label predatory aggressive to the most severely disturbed of all characters, the psychopath: These individuals are first and foremost characterized by their senseless, remorseless, and completely empathy-devoid use, abuse, manipulation, and exploitation of others…the heart of this personality style is…being devoid of any empathy-based sense of bonding to others, having virtually no conscience, having such a pathological sense of superiority that they feel entitled to prey on those they see as weaker and remorselessly engaging in predatory aggression. It’s important to remember also that predatory aggression is not rooted in anger, but in pure and heartless desire.” ~ George Simon, PhD
“Many spiritual traditions recognize that when the dark one appears he is most beautiful, most wonderful and most engaging. The truth only comes out later.”
~unknown
“When I look for these people, I look for someone to exploit, someone to expose all their weaknesses to themselves and leave them broken, hating themselves more than most of them already do. I enjoy causing people to realize the nasty truths of themselves (which is usually that they are pathetic lying individuals) even if I have to be hypocritical and lie myself in order to get my point across.” ~ a female psychopath
“You’ve saddled me with a lie I never deserved. I won’t forgive you for it….you led me to believe I was responsible.”
~ The Prize, Irving Wallace
“…it seems as if the psychopath’s devaluation of you is so filled with bitterness, hatred and sometimes even violence that it can’t be fully explained in terms of him tiring of you and moving on to other promising victims. Loving couples can grow apart and leave each other for better matches and lives. Non-loving couples can grow apart once they’re no longer useful to one another. But a psychopath takes this process one step further, to discard his ex-lovers with a degree of vitriol and hatred that astonishes his victims and exceeds any boundaries of normality.” ~PsychopathyAwareness, “A Crazy Roller Coaster Ride: Life with a Psychopath from Idealization to Devaluation”
“There are so many ways of being despicable it quite makes one’s head spin. But the way to be really despicable is to be contemptuous of other people’s pain.”
~ James Baldwin
“I’m a vampire. No, really — I’m a vampire.” ~anonymous psychopath
“Psychopaths juggle multiple partners in their tireless pursuit of their top goals: pleasure, dominance and entertainment.” ~ Claudia Moscovici, PsychopathyAwareness
“Virtually all of the research done in psychopathy is on the perpetrators, and we tend to ignore the tens of thousands of victims of these individuals. And most of the victims have nowhere to turn. They talk to their psychiatrist, psychologist, their friends, their employees, their priest, and they get nowhere because most people don’t understand the nature of psychopathic people.”
~ Dr. Robert Hare
“While woman #1 is basking in the hyper-focus of his attention, he is trolling, in the middle of, and ending, multiple other relationships with men and women. His multiple relationships that are beginning, enduring, and ending no doubt play into her relationship dynamics with the psychopath. Of course, woman #1 is high on oxytocin and believes she just met her soulmate.” ~ Sandra M. Brown, M.A., author of “Women Who Love Psychopaths”
“Ours were false relationships from the very beginning, in which we were targeted, exploited and betrayed.”
~Donna Anderson, LoveFraud
“Once they get bored with you because the spell of the initial conquest has worn off, the way they maintain control of you is through deception, isolation, abuse, gaslighting and undermining your self-confidence. That’s when…the devaluation phase has set in. You do whatever you can to regain privileged status. You try to recapture the excitement and sweetness of the idealization phase. You want to reclaim your rightful throne as the queen you thought you were in his eyes. But that’s an impossible goal, an ever-receding horizon…” ~Claudia Moscovici, PsychopathyAwareness
“Know yourself. Psychopaths are skilled at detecting and ruthlessly exploiting your weak spots. Your best defense is to understand what these spots are, and to be extremely wary of anyone who zeroes in on them.”
~ Dr. Robert Hare, How to Spot Social Predators Before They Attack”
“After the idealization phase is over, there’s no way to please a psychopath. Heads you lose, tails he wins. But remember that his criticisms are even less true than his initial exaggerated flattery. When all is said and done, the only truth that remains is that the whole relationship was a fraud.” ~Claudia Moscovici, PsychopathyAwareness
“The callous use of the lonely is a trademark of psychopaths.”
~ Dr. Robert Hare
“What makes psychopathy so different, so surreal that it knocks her head off? The inability to wrap her head around the emotional-physical-spiritual-sexual gang bang that just happened when she thought she was with the most wonderful person.” ~ Sandra M. Brown, M.A., author of “Women Who Love Psychopaths”
“Sadly, some victims of psychopaths attempt suicide as a result of hopelessness, helplessness and the belief there is no way out. Some have reported to us that psychopaths have actually encouraged them to take their own lives or have indicated that they would put them through so much turmoil that their only recourse would be suicide.” ~ Aftermath: Surviving Psychopathy
“What’s more, since psychopaths are sadists, he relishes seeing her suffer from a combination of jealousy, wounded pride and helpless love.”
“Always remember, he knows EXACTLY which buttons to push.”
~unknown
“Dutton and Painter have elaborated a theory of “traumatic bonding,” whereby powerful emotional attachments are seen to develop from two specific features of abusive relationships: power imbalances and intermittent good-bad treatment.”~ Emotional Attachments in Abusive Realtionships
“Psychologists are beginning to concur that it’s this unique element of character which most powerfully predicts higher numbers of different sexual partners, as well as impulsive one night stands, and a gamut of risky sexual behaviors. This character trait is Psychopathy.” ~ Sign of the Times
“There are those who deliberately hurt the hurting…Some people…have a deep contempt for the needy. Some are sadistic, gaining pleasure in pain.” Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend, from their book “Safe People.”
“They appear to function reasonably well—as lawyers, doctors, psychiatrists, academics, police officers, cult leaders, military personnel, businesspeople, writers, artists, entertainers and so forth—without breaking the law, or at least without being caught and convicted. These individuals are every bit as egocentric, callous and manipulative as the average criminal psychopath; however, their intelligence, family background, social skills and circumstances permit them to construct a façade of normalcy and to get what they want with relative impunity. These subcriminal sociopaths rarely go to prison or any other facility.” Robert D. Hare, PhD.
“The narcissist will need attention, and the sociopath will need stimulation. Both run like pansies if their requests aren’t met. Being hostile and emotional in a negative way only keeps them interested.” anonymous psychopath
“If you dance with the devil then you haven’t got a clue, for you think you’ll change the devil, but the devil changes you.”
~unknown
“This is how they think. It’s all about who is in control, who is on top, who has the most power, WHO CARES LESS, WHO CARES LESS, WHO CARES LESS, WHO CARES LESS, WHO CARES LESS. Do I have to repeat it?”
~unknown
“Tony then explained how ‘fucking stupid’ most people are and believe anything as long as you liberally apply the words ‘I Love you’. He then said, “The best ones are the ones who didn’t get any love as kids; parents were a bit cold and so on. People from these families will do anything if you tell them you love them. They are like addicts or something. They never had, you know, parental affection and love as kids. It’s a bit weird, alright, but you can spot these a mile away.” ~Thomas Sheridan, Defeated Demons: Freedom from Consciousness Parasites in Psychopathic Society
“Remember, doubt is your friend, but don’t ever doubt yourself.”
~ anonymous psychopath
“Yours is the light by which my spirit’s born: you are my sun, my moon, and all my stars.” ~ E.E. Cummings
“What the psychopath does is they weave a picture of a person that’s really a dream. It’s a spirit. It’s not real. You feel like you’ve discovered a soul mate. Once you’re in that bond — and we call it the psychopathic bond — you don’t want to break it.” ~ Dr. Paul Babiak, psychopathy expert
“Heads you lose, tails he wins.”
~Claudia Moscovici, PsychopathyAwareness
♥ I hope you’ve found these quotes about psychopaths enlightening.
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Isiah 59:4-8 “They rely on empty arguments, they utter lies; they conceive trouble and give birth to evil. 5They hatch the eggs of vipers and spin a spider’s web. Whoever eats their eggs will die, and when one is broken, an adder is hatched. 6Their cobwebs are useless for clothing; they cannot cover themselves with what they make. Their deeds are evil deeds, and acts of violence are in their hands. 7Their feet rush into sin; they are swift to shed innocent blood. They pursue evil schemes; acts of violence mark their ways. 8The way of peace they do not know; there is no justice in their paths. They have turned them into crooked roads; no one who walks along them will know peace.”
I see exactly how the psychopath operates and i have
been married to one and i can now spot a psychopath a mile away. I have a friend that i tried to explain that the man they think they love are a fake. It amazes me when i see someone go thru the psychopathic experience and it takes a long time before she finally understood that there are persons like this that are pure evil. They target who they want and get what they want and its a game they play and u lose and if u think u can hurt there ego because they believe they are better than everyone. There charm is so fake but i fell for it once and know i will never again.
I’m with you, Trish — never again!
”The best revenge is to ‘get a life’ and make yourself happy again.”
Sorry, sucker…too simple
You don’t get away that easy…
Psalm 5:9
Not a word from their mouth can be trusted.
Their hearts are full of malice
Their throat is an open grave
With their tongues they flatter
Declare them guilty O Lord
Let their intigues be their downfall
sounds like the psychopath I was married to & who was “affiliated with” a woman named Dinah – wondering if we exposed to same guy named Bill, a pilot?!
<3
This is one of my favorite quotes but you have put together a very good list of them Admin!!
“The man who lies to himself and listens to his own lie comes to such a pass that he cannot distinguish the truth within him, or around him, and so loses all respect for himself and for others. And having no respect he ceases to love, and in order to occupy and distract himself without love he gives way to passions and coarse pleasures, and sinks to bestiality in his vices, all from continual lying to other men and to himself.”
― Fyodor Dostoyevsky, The Brothers Karamazov
Thanks, this is a good one!
. They leave you with nothing, money, home, employment and the ability to get employment. This from a person I trusted the most. This is not a life lesson because they really just leave a little part. If I knew what to look for, It could have been prevented, maybe. He hid it well. I like the quote about that they believe there own lies. They really do. They pray the good people in the world. Whey don’t they victimize other Sociopaths?
That’s the saddest and most hurtful thing about all of it — they are the ones we loved and trusted most of all. That’s precisely what makes it so horrible. Now we know what to look for, so perhaps we can prevent it from happening again.
Why don’t they prey on other sociopaths? What would they get out of victimizing other sociopaths? Not a compliant victim who loved them, which is what they need to work their magic.
All the best to you! Thank you for your comment.
What can you take from a vacuum?
This is what upsets me the most. Psychopaths do build up a network of legitimate friends and treat them well so that they keep their “mask of sanity”. But for me, his partner, his lover, the person whom he says “he put on a pedestal”, he treated me the worst of everyone. I got contempt and abuse.
Yes, they use their network of friends to hide their abuse. Mine did the same thing. The contempt is horrible. I find that what helped the most with that is time passing, and just healing in general.
Their soul is a black hole, looking to drain the light from your very being. They offer nothing but an illusion, but take everything in return. What they take, they value not. No loving relationship or family bond is held precious. Husband, wife, partner, daughter and son are equally meaningless titles to the psychopath.
My husband is waiting trial for four felony counts…I tried to make it work for a year after he beat me so badly in my sleep…I kept wanting to believe he was a changed man, but he never did. He could keep it together for a week, but then revert back to his old ways. I finally said I couldn’t lie anymore.and that is when I saw the true psychopath…divorce papers he filed months ago, just waiting to turn on me…were delivered and he then drained all our money has had workers from his Pizza Hut restaurants break into our house while I was away and cut the alarm wires, take my wedding ring and watch…then when I file a claim for my items, he closes the insurance claim.
Because he is miserable, he wants me to be. He deserves to finally pay for all the hurt he has caused, the broken bones, the lies I have had to tell to protect him…because in the end…it’s about survival…I am a real survivor..
You are a survivor. I hope he will pay for the hurt he’s caused you. Best wishes to you.
I gave my heart and soul completely to an older man. I raised his children and made him a home. I allowed him access to the depths of my soul.
He molested two underage girls that were in care (he was a youth worker) and was aparently “in love” with one of them. He had repeated unprotected sex with one and then had unprotected sex with me.
Hes currently in jail awaiting sentencing and still continued (continues?) to lie to me even while I didnt know the full details of his case. I was sending him money and visiting him in jail like a fool.
He hid his finances from me and since this has all surfaced I found out hes been a gambler all this time while I was paying for the clothes his children wore and the food they ate.
Ive been betrayed and lied to and manipulated over and over and over.
Hes been diagoned with Narcissistic Personality Disorder and Depression while in jail and has now been medicated. His IQ is 160 which only made him even more deceptive and smart about it.
I wish I could turn off my love for this man but Im drawn to him like a moth to a flame.
The courts say there was only two victims but thats untrue. What about the children hes left behind and my battered, violated soul :\'(
That’s a sad story, and I’m sorry for you and the children. These people leave many victims in their wake beyond those identified in the courts. Warm wishes to you.
I discovered your website while sobbing uncontrollably in the middle of the night, reminding me that there are people who can understand what I have gone through. I got married to a Portuguese pilot in Sept 2014, and 52 days into the marriage, he turned physically abusive and ‘discarded’ me. I haven’t seen him once since that day. Months later, I’m still trying to reconcile that man with the one I loved for 2 years before our wedding. Websites like this, and Dr Hare’s books have helped tremendously to make sense of something that still feels like a really bad dream. I just wish the pain would stop somehow…
I’m so sorry, Askew. This is very fresh, and severe, and it’s going to take a while for the pain to diminish. You will get through it. I suggest that you look into a support group for survivors of domestic violence in your area — I’ve been told by visitors here that they’re very helpful. I was also helped by Dr. Hare’s books — he’s a very compassionate person, and I think it comes through. I’m glad to hear this site is helping you. Find help where you can, and stay away if something doesn’t feel right. It’s good that you’re out looking for help and answers. You didn’t deserve what happened, and I feel sad for you. I wish I could give you a big hug. Please take good care of yourself. I hope you have someone supportive there who you can count on. Oh, here’s a link to the very first blog post I wrote on this site, when I was in pretty bad shape — I didn’t know who I was writing it for at the time, but now I do — I was writing it for you. https://psychopathsandlove.com/faith-that-you-will-heal-is-the-key-to-healing/
I have been looking for a forum such as this for a while. My psychopath seems to be a lot worse than what some of you describe. Mine did everything and more… he burgled my house and robbed me of my most precious possessions including my children’s inheritance. He stole almost all of my jewellery and literally robbed me of my past… souvenirs, photos of my travels, family photos, my identity papers, ruined expensive shoes by tearing the soles and breaking the heels, etc.. he emptied the house of all of which was me. He took everything I cherished as if he was punishing me for owning things that i loved and cared about.
Even though i knew who i was dealing with (the devil), breaking and entering and spending several days going through everything I owned was criminal and it astonished me and left me devastated to say the least.
i dont know how to recover from this loss and psychologists have no idea about psychopaths. I take along with me Dr. Hare’s book Without Conscience and suggest to them that they read it.
I should mention also that this psychopath is also a stalker. Despite an intervention order against him, he still turns up where I go. I am a total mess. He also stole my personality. I know they mirror but is it possible they can switch personalities with their victim? I hate who I am and what I have become. It is 9 months since he entered to steal. I had left him 4 months prior. He was arrested in December but no charges were laid (another long story to do with one detective who I think is protecting hIm).
I cant find peace. I can’t function. I will never feel safe until he is jailed.
I’m sorry for all of the losses you’ve suffered. Whether literally or figuratively, they all rob each of us of everything they can, and all victims are devastated.
They can’t switch personalities with us, but they can certainly make us look — or feel –like the crazy and abusive ones while making themselves look like the victim.
Do you really hate ‘who you are,’ or are you hating your normal human reaction to extreme violation, deep betrayal and injustice? It’s not pretty; there are many intense feelings, including extreme anger, blinding rage, thoughts of revenge and wishes of terrible harm. These types of feelings are considered unacceptable by many, and they are painful to experience, but they are normal and need to be expressed (without harming yourself or anyone else). You’ve experienced a trauma that’s turned yourself and your life upside-down. You need to be heard and understood and supported, and you say you’re searching for that with book in hand. I hope you will soon find the support and empathy and love you need, my dear. For what it’s worth, I offer you a hug and sincere wishes for your recovery as well as your children’s.
Thank you for creating a site that is a refuge of truth, compassion and understanding. I spent 3 years with a man I believe to be a psychopath — without a doubt. It has now been just over one year of no-contact… I finally stopped having dreams that he was trying to rape and kill me… While I feel I have been able to recover parts of my soul and spirit that I honestly feared were lost, I still have a tremendous amount of mistrust and fear of ever opening my heart again. For a long time, I did not want to accept that this person was a psychopath, because I did not want to believe there were humans so incapable of love, or devoid of empathy. I feel I’ve had to change my entire view of humanity. I am aiming to continue to heal and begin to thrive again in 2016 – part of that is to shed other unhealthy, manipulative relationships – including that with my boss and with one female friend who I believe to both be narcissists. I am glad to have learned more about setting very strong boundaries, and to be far less naive, but there is part of me that never wanted to learn or be exposed to what I have. It has been a long road, and the journey continues. I wish our society were more educated and aware about these kinds of mental illnesses – I hope to do my part someday in contributing to that.
Thank you, Jessica, for your kind words! It is a rude awakening, but there’s no way to go back to not knowing, so we have to find a way to make it work. And it sounds like that’s what you’re doing—developing boundaries, removing manipulators from your life—these are powerful ways to take care of yourself, and they will make you happier in the long run. Give your heart time. It is a long road, but you’re getting there and I wish you all the best on your journey xx
The psycho’s path is always changing direction in hopes you will forget where your journey down their dimly lit path of deception began and you end up in an abyss of darkness.
This is how it felt to me and although the break up has been recent, fortunately being away from him helps me to remember all the terrible things he did to me and all the promises he made because I am not exposed to his gaslighting. It took me three years and fortunately I was able to walk out and stand alone to start my life over. It still hurts, believe me their are many things I miss and many more I don’t miss.
I really think this website helped save me. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
You’re welcome, Sheila! I’m so happy to hear that you were able to walk away and that you’ve found help here. I wish you all the best xx
Hi.
I would also like to thank you for this page!
I was together with a psychopath for 8 years. I divorced him two years ago. The healing is so slow because we have a child together and it terrifies me how he will affect her and not being able to love her and show her that she is perfect just like she is.
I got a quote I would like to share:
Being with a psychopath doesn’t just break you heart – it breaks your soul – shatters it completely
Best wishes to you and all who reads this. Always know that you are worthy of love and happiness
I hope your shattered soul has healed, Gitte, and that you know you are worthy of love and happiness ♥