At every turn, we hear words unbound by truth or logic. False arguments have replaced reason and rationality. Thoughts of Kafka and Orwell dance through our heads. It seems that reality itself has fallen down the rabbit hole.
Using the tactic of gaslighting, the manipulator denies, and therefore invalidates, reality. Invalidating reality distorts or undermines your perceptions of your world.
The two traits all abusive people have in common: They lack empathy and they are manipulative.
A harbinger foreshadows what is to come. That gives me a little shudder. These messengers of intuition are sometimes our only clue to some subtle red flag that slips by us.
Curiosity Killed the Cat: The Harbingers of Intuition Read More »
Beware the unsolicited promise, which is often a warning sign of impending victimization that should never be ignored or believed.
Alice’s trip into Wonderland would become curioser and curioser… just like our own trip into the reality-distortion field of the psychopath, a real-life Cheshire Cat with nothing at all behind his grin.
When we are seen as an object, we aren’t considered a separate, whole, real and meaningful person with our own thoughts, feelings and perceptions. We are simply an object with no meaning except to gratify desires.
Objectification and Dehumanization in Abusive Relationships Read More »
When psychopaths pursue a target, are they motivated by genuine attraction, the desire to manipulate or something more?Neuropsychologist Rhonda Freeman, PhD, explains.
Genuine Attraction, Manipulation or Something More? Dr. Rhonda Freeman Explains Read More »
Love bombing is an all-encompassing, exhaustive campaign of flattery that “bombs” the target with non-stop positive reinforcement.
You may have missed this post, but I wouldn’t want you to because it’s an important one. Even if you read it before, it’s worth a review. We all have some concern about getting involved with another manipulator, so we need to recognize manipulation as early as possible. This article will show you an easy way to do that.
Greatest Hits, Vol. 1: How Can You Tell if You’re Being Manipulated? Read More »
Do a psychopath’s eyes give them away? Are they a reliable sign we can use to identify and avoid them?
Many people were perplexed. What could possibly cause her to act so out of character? Manipulation, that’s what.
Intimacy has to do with trust, understanding, and feeling understood. Intensity, on the other hand, is all about drama, anxiety, uncertainty, and fear.
Intensity or Intimacy? A Relationship Litmus Test Read More »
At best, this man is a neurotic emotional vampire. At worse, he is a psychopathic or narcissistic emotional vampire. Either way, he’s an emotional vampire who will drain you dry and not care one bit, as long as his own needs are being met.
Emotional Vampires: How To Keep Them Out of Your Life Read More »
Words are more real than reality. Of course they’re not really more real, but it sure seems that way sometimes. Manipulators know this; it’s how they’re able to do what they do.
Invalidation is considered one of the most damaging forms of emotional abuse. Abusers use invalidation as a tool of manipulation and a weapon. Others may be short on empathy. Some may feel uncomfortable with your pain. Some are simply jealous.
We’ve all heard how hard it is to get out of a cult. It’s just as hard to get free of a cult of two.
Your doubts exist for a reason. In a healthy relationship, it’s not usual to be consumed by uncertainty or to be left doubting yourself.
When you’re backed into an emotional corner, acting out does not mean you’re crazy, and it does not make you the abuser. It means you’re a normal person pushed to your limits by a manipulator.
It makes no sense to say we were manipulated and lied to by a predator, and then claim that we were responsible. Both cannot be true at the same time.
The moment when the joy at finding love turns into the fear of losing it is called the ‘manipulative shift.’ When that happens, the psychopath takes control. This is when the devaluation stage begins.
The Most Powerful Motivator on the Planet: Intermittent Reinforcement Read More »
You fell down the rabbit hole. It never crossed your mind to question the things too good to be true, the things beyond imagination, the strange things. Why would you? They weren’t strange on that side of the looking glass — they were just part of the wonder of it all.
When targeted by a psychopath,
we unwittingly become an opponent in a game we don’t even know we’re playing. The stakes are high and the odds are stacked in their favor. They make the rules, and play to win.
Imagine you’re working in a maximum security psychiatric hospital that houses sexually motivated predatory stalkers who are in the Sexually Violent Predator Program. Most are diagnosed psychopaths.This would be enough to keep you and your coworkers from being manipulated, seduced, and victimized… right?
Convicted, Diagnosed and Institutionalized? Not Enough To Stop a Psychopath Read More »
Ask yourself: Am I free from fear? Free from shame? Free from uncertainty? Free from feelings of inadequacy that I didn’t have before? Free to express my emotions? Free to share my thoughts and opinions? Am I free to be myself?
Our own focus narrows, and we become oblivious to the world around us. Our sense of time is altered. Minutes seem like hours or hours seem like minutes. We are in a trance.
What heals shame? “Empathy is the antidote to shame,” Brene’ Brown writes. “The two most powerful words when we’re in struggle: Me Too.”
In the process of the psychopathic bond, the moment when the joy at finding love turns into the fear of losing it is called the ‘manipulative shift.’ When that happens, the psychopath takes control.
Traumatized people are at their most vulnerable when they turn to online forums in search of support. Unfortunately, I’ve heard from people who were re-victimized, and I experienced it myself. It was the last thing I needed and it set me back.
Why is the seduction of the psychopath so powerful? Because it is the art of the con wrapped in the beautiful illusion of love.
The psychopath I was involved with sometimes made strange and disturbing facial expressions. These faces struck me as being uncanny, meaning they were both familiar yet alien at the same time.
Walking Through the Shadow of the Uncanny Valley Read More »
“Always trust your gut.” That’s what common wisdom tells us. We’ve got our built-in Spidey Sense working behind the scenes to protect us, if only we would listen. Or… maybe not.
Psychopathy is the best-kept secret. Yet it’s also a wildly popular subject that intrigues a lot of people. Psychopathic characters pop up everywhere in movies, books, and TV — yet we hear close to nothing about psychopaths in personal, one-on-one relationships.
We’ve learned there are many things that leave us vulnerable to predatory manipulators. But no discussion of what may make us vulnerable is complete without revealing one vulnerability we all have, but that remains hidden from us.
I’ve read many books on the subject of psychopathic abuse, but none even comes close to exposing the diabolical minds of these predators or the harm suffered by their victims to the degree this book does.
Book Review: The Other Side of Charm: Your Memoir, by H.G. Beverly Read More »
“Soul mates.” Those are the words victims use to describe the seemingly magical connection they felt in the beginning of a relationship with a psychopath.
“If you have been the victim of a psychopath or you think you may be the next target of a psychopath, this book lays it all out for you. It is short, succinct, and gets right to the core of the predator.” J. Hunter
Psychopaths and Love, the Book, is Now Available Read More »
The mask a psychopath wears is only a superficial disguise, held in place by lies and manipulation. When we find out the truth — they were never who or what we believed them to be — the feelings of betrayal are overwhelming.
The psychopath’s charm is the focus of a predator on his prey, adorned with a smile. Literally.
Emotional manipulation can be so subtle and undercover that it can control you for quite a while before you figure out what’s happening, if you ever do. Learn how.
When a psychopath targets a victim, he lures her in a highly hypnotic way (along with using many other tactics of covert manipulation) to gain emotional control and then to keep it throughout the relationship.
Psychopaths Use Trance and Hypnosis to Get and Keep Victims Read More »
In the case of the psychopath, “I love you” is always a lie because they aren’t capable of love. They use these words as a means to their own ends because they know the enormous power those words have over those of us who are capable of love.
The Three Most Powerful Words Should Never Be a Lie Read More »
