It turns out that the members of this club are actually outstanding people who are able to love deeply and connect meaningfully,
While we’re in the thick of the present moment, we must make decisions based on incomplete information and insufficient personal experience. That means failure can and does happen, to everyone.
When others invalidate our feelings, it creates emotional distance. When we invalidate our own feelings, we create alienation from the self. We also create feelings of guilt and shame. Self-invalidation (and invalidation by others) makes recovery from depression and anxiety particularly difficult.
Acceptance isn’t the final stage in some neat and orderly process; it helps you move through the process. The first thing you might need to accept is that you’re having periods of strong emotion that often feel unbearable.
The lie is the story of defeat and doubt and failure. That’s the story the psychopath wanted you to create and live with. Don’t fall for it anymore.
It’s normal to feel anger and even rage in reaction to being thoroughly violated by someone without a conscience and is a walking moral wasteland. Fierce anger and indignation — outrage — is an appropriate response. It means is that you know you deserve to be treated with dignity and respect, and that you recognize that you weren’t.
Part of that trauma — and one that takes some victims by surprise — are feelings of profound loss and deep grief. This may not happen right away. But as things start to resolve and it becomes more quiet inside, grief is often what’s left standing, waiting for your attention.
“If you have been the victim of a psychopath or you think you may be the next target of a psychopath, this book lays it all out for you. It is short, succinct, and gets right to the core of the predator.” J. Hunter