“All things human hang by a slender thread; and that which seemed to stand strong suddenly falls and sinks in ruins”
Ovid
The illusion of the psychopath “standing strong” can’t last. Cracks appear in his mask of smoke and mirrors. One day, the psychopath will no longer have any power over you. He will “fall and sink in ruins” when you realize he never really stood strong, that it was all deception. That may be hard to accept, but with acceptance comes freedom.
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This is so accurate. I have had four years of hell, the last 12 months I have almost lost my mind and my life. Finally – with the help of friends – I was able to move out and I am slowly coming to terms with what has happened. This has nearly destroyed me and I was struggling to begin again until I realised my psychopathic husband never loved or cared for me. He is a text book psychopath and I thought he was the love of my life – he told me so many times he was!!
But through all the devastation, pain and insanity – as soon as I realised he never EVER cared for me, I somehow felt at peace – it somehow gave me strength to keep on trying to make my life full and meaningful again.
I’m sorry about the way things turned out. Thank goodness for the friends who helped you, and that you are getting stronger, coming to terms with what happened and even looking ahead to a full and meaningful life. It’s true that the realization we weren’t really cared for can be very freeing; after all, what is there to hold on to or return to after we know that? Our hearts may not understand that as well as our minds do, though. If that’s the case for you, just know that it’s normal and it will take time. Be kind to yourself and keep moving forward.
I was married for nearly 5 years. In the beginning it was all blissful and romantic. I was also mesmerized by his charm, warmth and ” caring”, but as soon as he had me, and the honeymoon was over, all hell broke loose. I could not believe that this was the same man I fell in love with. I realized that his needs always had to come first and the only person he cared about was himself. Although I also worked, he never helped around in the house. We stayed in my house, but he soon took over and changed all the rules and acted cruelly with my pets.I just still can`t believe that he did not love me, as he was so convincing. I need closure.
Dear Admin
A few weeks ago I was feeling fairly confident that I had finally broken contact with my Psycho after 2 1/2 years and he had run off into the sunset with another lady he had been seeing since February . I have been grief stricken without him but at same time a concrete weight had lifted and anxiety gone .
Then he started texting again , 5 then 10 then 20 texts a day , all caring , loving . She had left him because I was ” the one and only ” and I found myself falling back under his spell . It was like being back at Day 1 . Yesterday morning I received a text early in the morning . I was expecting it to say ” good morning, can’t wait to see you today ” . Instead it said “Getting Married Today !”
The pain is excruciating and the anxiety beyond what I have ever experienced . Why had I not learned ? The only way is no contact …. I had escaped and I let him back , thinking I could recapture the idealisation and love I had first known . Why had I stupidly thought he could change ? He just took me high with praise and loving messages and dropped me !!! Why on earth would someone do that ?
I sit here now wanting answers ….. But I will never get them from him.
That’s terrible. I’m sorry you’re going through this. They love to take us to the highest heights, and then drop us, either slow or fast. What he did was certainly extreme, and your reaction is understandable. You’re right when you say you’ll never get any answers from him. The only answer is that he’s heartless and has no conscience or ability to love. If you were still grief-stricken after 2 1/2 years, maybe this incident will help you to finally let go and move forward. Not today, of course, but in time. A good idea is to see a psychotherapist who specializes in psychological trauma. When you’re feeling up to it, you might want to look into the concept of the trauma-bond. In the meantime, I hope you have someone to talk to or a shoulder to cry on ♥