“Writing is an essential step in telling one’s story, because writing enables us to create order out of memory’s chaos.”
~ Leila Levinson, author of Gated Grief: The Daughter of a GI Concentration Camp Liberator Discovers a Legacy of Trauma
“Stories” is a new page on this website, a place for you to tell your story about your experience with a psychopath or to read the stories of others. It doesn’t matter if you’re in the beginning of your story, in the middle, or at the end. Every story matters.
There is therapeutic value in telling our stories to people who understand, and in reading the stories of others and finding out we’re not alone. It can even be transformational.
Telling your story here is just one way to do it. You can also accomplish it through journaling, verbal or written narratives, or through creative writing, song, poetry, film, painting or other artwork. To read a story told through poetry, see “Soul Songs” for a collection of poems written by Linda, one of this blog’s readers.
“Creativity in art, music, writing, and drama draws upon many parts of our brain and in so doing offers a means of expressing aspects of trauma that were never encoded in words but find expression, release and realization in personal and powerful ways. Creative outlets are so often the conduits to the healing narrative.” ~ Suzanne Phillips, Psy.D., ABPP
Over time, your story may become quite different than it was at the outset. The facts don’t change, but your interpretation of them — and the meaning you give to your experience — can change, going from a story of defeat to a story of victory. You can reclaim your power by re-framing your experience in a way that gives it a new and empowering meaning. One way that can happen is by replacing unnecessary self-blame with healing self-compassion.
Journaling is a valuable way to work through your story privately, over time. I kept a journal for over a year, and I believe it helped me a great deal. It enabled me to express my emotions, get clear on what happened, gain insight, realize what I learned from it, recognize my strengths, and give meaning to my experience. It was liberating to have a place to express myself without censoring my thoughts, feelings or words.
“Those writing about their trauma are often driven by a powerful voice that can speak of things that can’t be said aloud, that unfold from a horrified, confused, isolated self. The power is in this vehicle of translation.”
~ Suzanne Phillips, Psy.D., ABPP
Experts consider sharing the story of loss and finding someone to attentively and empathetically listen to be integral in the recovery process. Listening requires maintaining an active presence, empathy and openness to hear the person telling the story. Having a good friend or therapist listen to your story in this way can be invaluable. Often, we rely on others who’ve been through a similar experience to fill this role for us.
If you choose to tell your story here, I won’t publish any responses to it that are negative in any way. It’s about having your story heard by others who will listen without judgement and with acceptance.
To tell your story on this website, please leave it in a comment on the “Stories” page.
“Our personal narrative offers us a chance for not just understanding, but for reorganization our sense of self. A self that was wounded, broken, frightened or lost—but can now be reclaimed.The power of telling your story allows you to transform the foreign into the familiar—making the unspeakable speakable. Your narrative and yours alone, can bring you awareness and closure.”
~Deborah Serani Psy.D., Why Your Story Matters
“Excellent, excellent book! It brought me understanding and closure!”
“Invaluable. Having been in a relationship with a psychopath for many years, I desperately needed some insight into what had happened and why. I have gained a tremendous amount of strength and knowledge toward healing from years of abuse by reading this book. One of the best.”
“Insightful and informative! This book provides a good understanding of psychopath’s traits. It’s very helpful the author broke it down in different subjects for giving the complete view of a psychopath.”
“Five Stars. Very helpful.”