TOPSY-TURVY WORLD

TOPSY-TURVY WORLD

I once wrote here that “in the psychopath’s world, things are topsy-turvy. The psychopath sees our strengths as flaws, and sees his flaws as strengths. Things like love and trust and compassion make us fools who are easy to manipulate, while their ability to...
Feeling Crazy? Unstable? Unhinged?

Feeling Crazy? Unstable? Unhinged?

If you weren’t “crazy,” unstable or *borderline before you were involved with an abusive manipulator, chances are good that you aren’t now. But after being blamed and called crazy by the abuser, disbelieved by family and friends, and perhaps...
Want To Reclaim Your Power? Re-Write Your Story!

Want To Reclaim Your Power? Re-Write Your Story!

“It is by going down into the abyss that we recover the treasures of life. Where you stumble, there lies your treasure.” (Joseph Campbell) There is a difference between what happened and the story you tell yourself about it. The facts can’t be changed, but the...
The Self-Compassion Effect

The Self-Compassion Effect

Step outside yourself for a moment, if you will, and turn and look at yourself. There you are, the ‘you’ who was mistreated and who is now treating yourself so harshly, who is feeling shame, despair, doubt, outrage, confusion, self-doubt, deep sadness,...
Moral Injury: The Hidden Wound to the Soul

Moral Injury: The Hidden Wound to the Soul

When inward tenderness finds the secret hurt, Pain itself will crack the rock and Ahhh! let the soul emerge. ~ Rumi You were victimized by a psychopath, a person with a disorder characterized by egocentricity, deceitfulness, impulsivity, a lack of empathy, the...
The Unique and Powerful Harm of Betrayal

The Unique and Powerful Harm of Betrayal

“There’s coming out of relationships, there’s getting your heart broken, and then there’s that rare and special time you crawl out of a relationship bleeding at your knees, heart shattered, brain smashed, gut splattered and wondering what the point of reality...
Your Own Personal Apocalypse

Your Own Personal Apocalypse

“I can’t go on. I’ll go on.” (Samuel Beckett) Most of us have said those words in the aftermath of a psychopath. At first, we think “I can’t go on.” Those days are the darkest. At some point, we dare to think “I’ll go...
From Adversity, Forge Meaning

From Adversity, Forge Meaning

On this New Year’s day the future opens before us sparkling with promise, yet tainted by the experience of having been victimized by a psychopath. What can we do with that experience, so it doesn’t keep us on the side of the road when we want to move...
Shame: A Festering Wound of the Soul

Shame: A Festering Wound of the Soul

Shame.   It’s the core of our experience with a psychopath. We experience shame when we’re with a psychopath, and we experience shame when it’s over. Psychopaths are experts at shaming us in so many ways.  Even after they’re gone, the...
Liminality, the Unsettling Space of In-Between

Liminality, the Unsettling Space of In-Between

After our experience in a psychopathic bond, we are shaken to our core. The firm foundation we believed we stood on crumbled beneath us and we hang on, barely, in any way we can.  We find ourselves in a liminal place — a place of ‘in-between.’ It is...
Post-Traumatic Growth

Post-Traumatic Growth

Writing about the hero’s journey inspired me to continue with this positive theme and talk about Post-Traumatic Growth (PTG). “Trauma creates a rupture in a person’s life story. Assumptions about ourselves, our place in world, and our expectations about...