In the Aftermath: GRIEF

In the Aftermath: GRIEF

The person you loved—maybe more than you ever loved anyone before—and who loved you just as much, is gone from your life, never to return. Of course you’re grieving. But wait a minute, you tell yourself. You shouldn’t be grieving because you...
“I Should Have Known”

“I Should Have Known”

  “I should have known.” Are you still telling yourself that, or believing others who say it?     “Life can only be understood backwards, but it must be lived forwards.” ~ Søren Kierkegaard   Such a simple phrase, and yet so...
Others Have It Worse Than Me: SELF-INVALIDATION

Others Have It Worse Than Me: SELF-INVALIDATION

When I was small my mother told me, “Finish your dinner! There are children starving in Africa.” I promptly suggested that we box up my dinner, along with some of the food in the pantry, and send it to them. After all, how was finishing my dinner going to...
Self-Respect: The Key to Everything

Self-Respect: The Key to Everything

“Self love, self respect, self worth – all interlinked and vital.” ~ Jane Thorne Self respect can be in short supply after being manipulated, abused and devalued by a psychopath. Losing our self respect stems from the feeling that we compromised our own...
The Self-Compassion Effect

The Self-Compassion Effect

Step outside yourself for a moment, if you will, and turn and look at yourself. There you are, the ‘you’ who was mistreated and who is now treating yourself so harshly, who is feeling shame, despair, doubt, outrage, confusion, self-doubt, deep sadness,...
Angry? There’s a Reason for That

Angry? There’s a Reason for That

“Anger is never without a reason, but seldom with a good one.” ~ Benjamin Franklin That passes as good advice? I don’t believe it should. Anger is a universal emotion that exists for a reason. Yes, sometimes it’s unwarranted, but it’s up...
Emergency: Self-Blame

Emergency: Self-Blame

Self-Blame is the subject of this ’emergency’ blog post. I heard from a reader a couple of days ago who put the issue of self-blame front and center in my thoughts. Self-blame lurks in many of the comments written here, and although I’ve talked about...