“I Should Have Known”

“I Should Have Known”

  “I should have known.” Are you still telling yourself that, or believing others who say it?     “Life can only be understood backwards, but it must be lived forwards.” ~ Søren Kierkegaard   Such a simple phrase, and yet so...
A Grin Without a Cat

A Grin Without a Cat

  “Well! I’ve often seen a cat without a grin,” thought Alice; “but a grin without a cat! It’s the most curious thing I ever saw in my life!” (ALICE’S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND, LEWIS CARROLL)   Alice’s trip into Wonderland would become curioser and...
Into the Mirror… and Out Again

Into the Mirror… and Out Again

  Psychopaths know they have to hide what they truly are in order to win your heart. A psychopath knows you would not want anything to do with him or her if they didn’t. And when they’re trying to trap you, who do they pretend to be? You. That...
Hallelujah! The Peace and Healing of Acceptance

Hallelujah! The Peace and Healing of Acceptance

“It is so. It cannot be otherwise.” ~ Inscription on the Ruins of a 15th Century Cathedral in Amsterdam   What is acceptance? And how can it help you heal from the trauma of psychopathic victimization? Acceptance is, put simply, the acknowledgement of reality....
Want To Reclaim Your Power? Re-Write Your Story!

Want To Reclaim Your Power? Re-Write Your Story!

“It is by going down into the abyss that we recover the treasures of life. Where you stumble, there lies your treasure.” (Joseph Campbell) There is a difference between what happened and the story you tell yourself about it. The facts can’t be changed, but the...
The Self-Compassion Effect

The Self-Compassion Effect

Step outside yourself for a moment, if you will, and turn and look at yourself. There you are, the ‘you’ who was mistreated and who is now treating yourself so harshly, who is feeling shame, despair, doubt, outrage, confusion, self-doubt, deep sadness,...
Your Own Personal Apocalypse

Your Own Personal Apocalypse

“I can’t go on. I’ll go on.” (Samuel Beckett) Most of us have said those words in the aftermath of a psychopath. At first, we think “I can’t go on.” Those days are the darkest. At some point, we dare to think “I’ll go...
A Pearl of Truth and Wisdom

A Pearl of Truth and Wisdom

Today I received a comment from a reader named Lovisa. I’m sharing it here so all of you will read it. I’ve said it before in different ways, but it’s a fundamental truth worth repeating a hundred times, and Lovisa has captured and expressed it...
From Adversity, Forge Meaning

From Adversity, Forge Meaning

On this New Year’s day the future opens before us sparkling with promise, yet tainted by the experience of having been victimized by a psychopath. What can we do with that experience, so it doesn’t keep us on the side of the road when we want to move...
Post-Traumatic Growth

Post-Traumatic Growth

Writing about the hero’s journey inspired me to continue with this positive theme and talk about Post-Traumatic Growth (PTG). “Trauma creates a rupture in a person’s life story. Assumptions about ourselves, our place in world, and our expectations about...
Your Journey is the Hero’s Journey

Your Journey is the Hero’s Journey

“It is by going down into the abyss that we recover the treasures of life. Where you stumble, there lies your treasure.” ~Joseph Campbell Recovery from involvement in a psychopathic bond was a long and rocky road. But in the arduous process of healing after it was...