The Cult of Two

The Cult of Two

“Power is in tearing human minds to pieces and putting them together again in new shapes of your own choosing.” ~ George Orwell, 1984 That quote describes perfectly the radical psychological process of brainwashing. A person involved with a psychopath was manipulated,...
Angry? There’s a Reason for That

Angry? There’s a Reason for That

“Anger is never without a reason, but seldom with a good one.” ~ Benjamin Franklin That passes as good advice? I don’t believe it should. Anger is a universal emotion that exists for a reason. Yes, sometimes it’s unwarranted, but it’s up...
DOUBT: Friend or Foe?

DOUBT: Friend or Foe?

Doubt is the main theme when involved with a psychopath. They are the embodiment of duplicity, contradiction, and confusion. The whole charade exists under the shadow of doubt. Doubt permeates it like a thick fog blanketing a city. It seeps through the tiniest cracks,...
Moral Injury: The Hidden Wound to the Soul

Moral Injury: The Hidden Wound to the Soul

When inward tenderness finds the secret hurt, Pain itself will crack the rock and Ahhh! let the soul emerge. ~ Rumi You were victimized by a psychopath, a person with a disorder characterized by egocentricity, deceitfulness, impulsivity, a lack of empathy, the...
At the Intersection of Truth and Lies: Self-Blame

At the Intersection of Truth and Lies: Self-Blame

“You saddled me with a lie I never deserved. I won’t forgive you for it… You led me to believe I was responsible.” ~ The Prize, Irving Wallace   Most people experience self-blame after involvement with a psychopath, for good reason. These master manipulators are...
Emergency: Self-Blame

Emergency: Self-Blame

Self-Blame is the subject of this ’emergency’ blog post. I heard from a reader a couple of days ago who put the issue of self-blame front and center in my thoughts. Self-blame lurks in many of the comments written here, and although I’ve talked about...
The Unique and Powerful Harm of Betrayal

The Unique and Powerful Harm of Betrayal

“There’s coming out of relationships, there’s getting your heart broken, and then there’s that rare and special time you crawl out of a relationship bleeding at your knees, heart shattered, brain smashed, gut splattered and wondering what the point of reality...
Your Own Personal Apocalypse

Your Own Personal Apocalypse

“I can’t go on. I’ll go on.” (Samuel Beckett) Most of us have said those words in the aftermath of a psychopath. At first, we think “I can’t go on.” Those days are the darkest. At some point, we dare to think “I’ll go...
A Pearl of Truth and Wisdom

A Pearl of Truth and Wisdom

Today I received a comment from a reader named Lovisa. I’m sharing it here so all of you will read it. I’ve said it before in different ways, but it’s a fundamental truth worth repeating a hundred times, and Lovisa has captured and expressed it...
A New Book is Born — MORE Psychopaths and Love

A New Book is Born — MORE Psychopaths and Love

I’m very excited to announce the birth of a new book, More Psychopaths and Love.   If you were the victim of psychopathic abuse, or just want to learn about it, this book is for you. I send it out into the world with the wish that it will find its way into...
You Had the Power All Along

You Had the Power All Along

Power without compassion is the worst kind of evil there is. ~ E.J. Patten, Return to Exile In order to win our love and trust, a psychopath must gain two things — power and control. Without those, they are nothing. The greater the power, the more dangerous the...
The Holy Grail of the Psychopath

The Holy Grail of the Psychopath

Psychopaths put on quite a show to gain our love and trust. They create a grand illusion, complete with arrow-slinging cupids and fireworks worthy of the Fourth of July. To be able to do that they have to pretend to be something they’re not, day after day. They...
From Adversity, Forge Meaning

From Adversity, Forge Meaning

On this New Year’s day the future opens before us sparkling with promise, yet tainted by the experience of having been victimized by a psychopath. What can we do with that experience, so it doesn’t keep us on the side of the road when we want to move...
Resilience — You’ve Got It

Resilience — You’ve Got It

Betrayal. Victimization. Devastation. Confusion. A profound loss of faith in God, in Humanity, in Justice.   How can we ever recover? I hear from many people who tell me they were destroyed by their experience with a psychopath. If you believe you were, please...
Can We Ever Trust Again?

Can We Ever Trust Again?

“Don’t ever trust anyone ever again!”   That was my mother’s advice to me when I told her about the psychopath. My response was, “How could you want such a terrible life for me?” As I imagined ‘never trusting anyone...
Freedom: The Ultimate Relationship Litmus Test

Freedom: The Ultimate Relationship Litmus Test

The very first thing I felt after the psychopath discarded me was absolute and utter relief.   I remember the long, deep breath I took, and the feeling of my entire body relaxing. This feeling of relief was quickly overpowered by other emotions, but I will never...
Shame: A Festering Wound of the Soul

Shame: A Festering Wound of the Soul

Shame.   It’s the core of our experience with a psychopath. We experience shame when we’re with a psychopath, and we experience shame when it’s over. Psychopaths are experts at shaming us in so many ways.  Even after they’re gone, the...
Fox in the Hen House: The Dangers of Forums

Fox in the Hen House: The Dangers of Forums

Several readers have asked me why I don’t have a forum on this website. The only problem in answering this question is where to begin.   I’ll start here: I don’t recommend traumatized people visit online forums because of the amount of secondary...
What Ebola Can Teach Us About Psychopaths

What Ebola Can Teach Us About Psychopaths

For the past few days,   I’ve wanted to write a post about those suffering with the Ebola virus and the very brave people who help them. Since this is a blog about psychopaths, I needed to find a way to connect them. I found my answer this morning when I went to...
Should You Forgive the Psychopath?

Should You Forgive the Psychopath?

“Norms of forgiveness seem unduly to burden the oppressed.” – Nancy A. Stanlick Forgiveness. It’s what good people should do, right? We’re told that forgiveness is the only way to get rid of feelings of anger and animosity.  We’re told that...
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