TOPSY-TURVY WORLD

TOPSY-TURVY WORLD

I once wrote here that “in the psychopath’s world, things are topsy-turvy. The psychopath sees our strengths as flaws, and sees his flaws as strengths. Things like love and trust and compassion make us fools who are easy to manipulate, while their ability to...
In the Aftermath: GRIEF

In the Aftermath: GRIEF

The person you loved—maybe more than you ever loved anyone before—and who loved you just as much, is gone from your life, never to return. Of course you’re grieving. But wait a minute, you tell yourself. You shouldn’t be grieving because you...
“I Should Have Known”

“I Should Have Known”

  “I should have known.” Are you still telling yourself that, or believing others who say it?     “Life can only be understood backwards, but it must be lived forwards.” ~ Søren Kierkegaard   Such a simple phrase, and yet so...
The Psychopath: An Empty Boat

The Psychopath: An Empty Boat

If a man is crossing a river And an empty boat collides with his own boat, He will not become very angry. But if he sees a man in the boat, He will shout to him to steer clear. And if the shout is not heard he will shout Again, and yet again, and begin cursing –...
Feeling Crazy? Unstable? Unhinged?

Feeling Crazy? Unstable? Unhinged?

If you weren’t “crazy,” unstable or *borderline before you were involved with an abusive manipulator, chances are good that you aren’t now. But after being blamed and called crazy by the abuser, disbelieved by family and friends, and perhaps...
First, Do No Harm: Abusive Psychotherapists

First, Do No Harm: Abusive Psychotherapists

ALL IMAGES IN THIS POST ARE BY CDD20 | 愚木混株| SHANGHAI, CHINA   When reaching out for help after an abusive relationship, some people end up being re-traumatized by a therapist. Others sustained their initial trauma from an abusive therapist. Recently, I heard...
Others Have It Worse Than Me: SELF-INVALIDATION

Others Have It Worse Than Me: SELF-INVALIDATION

When I was small my mother told me, “Finish your dinner! There are children starving in Africa.” I promptly suggested that we box up my dinner, along with some of the food in the pantry, and send it to them. After all, how was finishing my dinner going to...
Into the Mirror… and Out Again

Into the Mirror… and Out Again

  Psychopaths know they have to hide what they truly are in order to win your heart. A psychopath knows you would not want anything to do with him or her if they didn’t. And when they’re trying to trap you, who do they pretend to be? You. That...
EMPATHY: What It Is and Why You Need It

EMPATHY: What It Is and Why You Need It

  “One doesn’t have to operate with great malice to do great harm. The absence of empathy and understanding are sufficient.” (Charles M. Blow)   Many of you reading this have been involved with someone who had no empathy, and you have experienced the harm...
Hallelujah! The Peace and Healing of Acceptance

Hallelujah! The Peace and Healing of Acceptance

“It is so. It cannot be otherwise.” ~ Inscription on the Ruins of a 15th Century Cathedral in Amsterdam   What is acceptance? And how can it help you heal from the trauma of psychopathic victimization? Acceptance is, put simply, the acknowledgement of reality....
Want To Reclaim Your Power? Re-Write Your Story!

Want To Reclaim Your Power? Re-Write Your Story!

“It is by going down into the abyss that we recover the treasures of life. Where you stumble, there lies your treasure.” (Joseph Campbell) There is a difference between what happened and the story you tell yourself about it. The facts can’t be changed, but the...
Why You? And How Did You Get Trapped?

Why You? And How Did You Get Trapped?

“Why me? And how did I get trapped?” ~ A Reader   All of us asked ourselves these questions. It’s important to try and answer them. Why you? Psychopaths can sense who will be receptive.  What made you receptive? The answer to that question is...
The Healing Power of Awe

The Healing Power of Awe

“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” ~ W.B. Yeats   One day I was reading a psychopath’s blog (as I am sometimes prone to doing) and he asked if someone would please explain something to him. He said that...
Is He or Isn’t He? Why It Doesn’t Matter

Is He or Isn’t He? Why It Doesn’t Matter

Dole or Chiquita? Either way, this guy’s bananas. Is he or isn’t he? That is the question. Or is it? “We had a fight, and I can see that he is genuinely feeling awful from the pics he posts of himself on FB. I know there are different levels of...
Self-Respect: The Key to Everything

Self-Respect: The Key to Everything

“Self love, self respect, self worth – all interlinked and vital.” ~ Jane Thorne Self respect can be in short supply after being manipulated, abused and devalued by a psychopath. Losing our self respect stems from the feeling that we compromised our own...
The Self-Compassion Effect

The Self-Compassion Effect

Step outside yourself for a moment, if you will, and turn and look at yourself. There you are, the ‘you’ who was mistreated and who is now treating yourself so harshly, who is feeling shame, despair, doubt, outrage, confusion, self-doubt, deep sadness,...
Forgiveness: The Other F-Word

Forgiveness: The Other F-Word

You can probably tell by the title that I’m not an advocate of forgiving ruthless predators who victimize without remorse and who will keep doing so. If you have chosen to forgive and it helps you heal, that’s great. This blog post is for those of you who...
The Cult of Two

The Cult of Two

“Power is in tearing human minds to pieces and putting them together again in new shapes of your own choosing.” ~ George Orwell, 1984 That quote describes perfectly the radical psychological process of brainwashing. A person involved with a psychopath was manipulated,...