“That sense of loss grew within the humans who had been left behind, left to live without unicorns. Even the ones who had never seen a unicorn, never heard of a unicorn, felt the passing of something sweet and wonderful. It was as if the air had surrendered a bit of its spice, the water a bit of its sparkle, the night a bit of its mystery.”
(Bruce Coville, Dark Whispers)
Loss of innocence. Shattered hopes and dreams. Identity crisis. These are common feelings among those of us who’ve been through the trauma of a relationship with a psychopath.
Why did you stay?
Why did I, and why did the rest of us? If you’re still involved, why can’t you leave?
Find out below. In the process, free yourself from needless self-blame and shame. It is tremendously powerful to understand the facts of your experience. It can help you heal.
The person you loved—maybe more than you ever loved anyone before—and who loved you just as much, is gone from your life, never to return. Of course you’re grieving.
But wait a minute, you tell yourself. You shouldn’t be grieving because you know this person didn’t really love you, and, in fact, your soul mate didn’t even really exist at all. You know now that after the glorious beginning, your relationship slowly became an ever-worsening emotional hell because of manipulation and from being treated with a stunning lack of empathy by person who was incapable of it, and who was also unable to love.
What are you supposed to do with that? (more…)
Once Upon a While by Claire Maeda. This illustration is permitted for use under the Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 3.0. No changes were made to this image.
This morning I received a note
from a reader named Michael who said, “I am so emotionally devastated that I have been struggling to keep myself safe from suicide.”
Writing about the hero’s journey inspired me to continue with this positive theme and talk about Post-Traumatic Growth (PTG).
In your darkest hours,
you may wonder if you will ever heal from something as awful as what you have been through, having been the victim of a psychopath. The experience might have left you questioning the meaning and purpose of your life, and of life in general. It may have shaken your belief in all you thought you knew about human nature, and left you feeling uncertain about everything, including yourself.