The Wizards of Id

The Wizards of Id

Follow the yellow brick road Follow the yellow brick road Follow the rainbow over the stream Follow the fellow who follows a dream…   When we inadvertently followed a psychopath down their yellow brick road, Emerald City isn’t what we found at the...
EMPATHY: What It Is and Why You Need It

EMPATHY: What It Is and Why You Need It

  “One doesn’t have to operate with great malice to do great harm. The absence of empathy and understanding are sufficient.” (Charles M. Blow)   Many of you reading this have been involved with someone who had no empathy, and you have experienced the harm...
Want To Reclaim Your Power? Re-Write Your Story!

Want To Reclaim Your Power? Re-Write Your Story!

“It is by going down into the abyss that we recover the treasures of life. Where you stumble, there lies your treasure.” (Joseph Campbell) There is a difference between what happened and the story you tell yourself about it. The facts can’t be changed, but the...
Invalidation: I Refuse to Have This Discussion!

Invalidation: I Refuse to Have This Discussion!

“When we invalidate people or deny their perceptions and personal experiences, we make mental invalids of them. When one’s feelings are denied a person can be made to feel crazy even when they are perfectly mentally healthy.” (R.D. Laing, MD, psychiatrist)...
The Self-Compassion Effect

The Self-Compassion Effect

Step outside yourself for a moment, if you will, and turn and look at yourself. There you are, the ‘you’ who was mistreated and who is now treating yourself so harshly, who is feeling shame, despair, doubt, outrage, confusion, self-doubt, deep sadness,...
Backed Into an Emotional Corner

Backed Into an Emotional Corner

You always overreact! You’re unstable! You have a problem with anger!  You’re… CRAZY!  C hances are good that you were accused of at least a few of these things if you were involved with a manipulator. A psychopath will say such things after...
At the Intersection of Truth and Lies: Self-Blame

At the Intersection of Truth and Lies: Self-Blame

“You saddled me with a lie I never deserved. I won’t forgive you for it… You led me to believe I was responsible.” ~ The Prize, Irving Wallace   Most people experience self-blame after involvement with a psychopath, for good reason. These master manipulators are...
The Known, the Unknown and the Unknowable

The Known, the Unknown and the Unknowable

“There are things known and there are things unknown, and in between are the doors of perception.” ~ Aldous Huxley The unknown is always encountered in the midst of the known. It manifests within what is usual and familiar, and hides there. The unknown is the serpent...
The Game You Didn’t Know You Were Playing

The Game You Didn’t Know You Were Playing

When targeted by a psychopath, we unwittingly become an opponent in a game we don’t even know we’re playing. The stakes are high and the odds are stacked in their favor. They make the rules, and play to win. How could they lose, with such unfair...
Liminality, the Unsettling Space of In-Between

Liminality, the Unsettling Space of In-Between

After our experience in a psychopathic bond, we are shaken to our core. The firm foundation we believed we stood on crumbled beneath us and we hang on, barely, in any way we can.  We find ourselves in a liminal place — a place of ‘in-between.’ It is...
Charm and the Psychopath

Charm and the Psychopath

One mustn’t look into the abyss, because there is at the bottom an inexplicable charm which attracts us. ~ Gustave Flaubert Charm. What is it, and why is the charm of the psychopath so powerful?  I’m not sure where the following description of charm came...
How to Tell if You’re Being Manipulated

How to Tell if You’re Being Manipulated

Emotional manipulation can be so subtle and undercover, it can control you for quite a while before you figure out what’s happening, if you ever do. Some manipulators are highly skilled. They’re described by some as puppet masters, and you could become an...