Reality, Denied: GASLIGHTING

Reality, Denied: GASLIGHTING

“I NEVER said that!”  (my psychopathic ex) The entire “relationship” with my psychopathic ex was one long episode of gaslighting, as they are for all of us. “Gaslighting” is a term commonly used to describe behavior that is inherently...
I Promise You, I’m No Gigolo!

I Promise You, I’m No Gigolo!

“I promise you, I’m no gigolo!”   The psychopath I was involved with said that to me one night, out of nowhere. As it turned out, he was absolutely a gigolo. Even worse, a psychopathic one. His promise was broken. Beware the Unsolicited Promise,...
Love Not Bombs: LOVE BOMBING

Love Not Bombs: LOVE BOMBING

You’ve finally found “the one.” Your relationship seems otherworldly, and your emotional high is so high it feels as if you’ve taken a potent, euphoria-inducing drug. You believe you’ve found your soulmate and can’t believe your good...
Knowledge is Power: Never Be Manipulated Again

Knowledge is Power: Never Be Manipulated Again

Never let anyone get away with manipulating you again. Empower yourself! Identifying covert emotional manipulation is tricky. You sense something is wrong, but you can’t quite put your finger on the problem. Covert emotional manipulation tactics are underhanded...
Manipulation: How Far Can It Go?

Manipulation: How Far Can It Go?

“I don’t understand why she would give it all up for a piece of sh*t killer. He must have played some serious mind games on her.” ~ A relative of Joyce Mitchell   When this story was unfolding in the news, I thought it would turn into a Major Teaching Moment...
Words are More Real Than Reality

Words are More Real Than Reality

“The basic tool for the manipulation of reality is the manipulation of words.” – Phillip Dick Words are more real than reality. Of course they’re not really more real, but it sure seems that way sometimes. Manipulators know this; it’s how...
Invalidation: I Refuse to Have This Discussion!

Invalidation: I Refuse to Have This Discussion!

“When we invalidate people or deny their perceptions and personal experiences, we make mental invalids of them. When one’s feelings are denied a person can be made to feel crazy even when they are perfectly mentally healthy.” (R.D. Laing, MD, psychiatrist)...
The Cult of Two

The Cult of Two

“Power is in tearing human minds to pieces and putting them together again in new shapes of your own choosing.” ~ George Orwell, 1984 That quote describes perfectly the radical psychological process of brainwashing. A person involved with a psychopath was manipulated,...
DOUBT: Friend or Foe?

DOUBT: Friend or Foe?

Doubt is the main theme when involved with a psychopath. They are the embodiment of duplicity, contradiction, and confusion. The whole charade exists under the shadow of doubt. Doubt permeates it like a thick fog blanketing a city. It seeps through the tiniest cracks,...
Backed Into an Emotional Corner

Backed Into an Emotional Corner

You always overreact! You’re unstable! You have a problem with anger!  You’re… CRAZY!  C hances are good that you were accused of at least a few of these things if you were involved with a manipulator. A psychopath will say such things after...
At the Intersection of Truth and Lies: Self-Blame

At the Intersection of Truth and Lies: Self-Blame

“You saddled me with a lie I never deserved. I won’t forgive you for it… You led me to believe I was responsible.” ~ The Prize, Irving Wallace   Most people experience self-blame after involvement with a psychopath, for good reason. These master manipulators are...
Emergency: Self-Blame

Emergency: Self-Blame

Self-Blame is the subject of this ’emergency’ blog post. I heard from a reader a couple of days ago who put the issue of self-blame front and center in my thoughts. Self-blame lurks in many of the comments written here, and although I’ve talked about...
Down the Rabbit Hole

Down the Rabbit Hole

You fell down the rabbit hole. You didn’t know it — you only thought you had found true love. You left the mundane world behind and didn’t look back, nor did you want to. You were let in on the secret handshake. You finally got a break, and it was...
Paradox and Confusion

Paradox and Confusion

 “It is an interesting paradox because inside my head I am positively insane but ‘outside’ my head I am perfectly normal (when need be).” ~ anonymous psychopath That someone can be insane but appear normal is an incredible paradox. How can it...
The Game You Didn’t Know You Were Playing

The Game You Didn’t Know You Were Playing

When targeted by a psychopath, we unwittingly become an opponent in a game we don’t even know we’re playing. The stakes are high and the odds are stacked in their favor. They make the rules, and play to win. How could they lose, with such unfair...
Freedom: The Ultimate Relationship Litmus Test

Freedom: The Ultimate Relationship Litmus Test

The very first thing I felt after the psychopath discarded me was absolute and utter relief.   I remember the long, deep breath I took, and the feeling of my entire body relaxing. This feeling of relief was quickly overpowered by other emotions, but I will never...
Hocus-Pocus: It’s All In the Focus

Hocus-Pocus: It’s All In the Focus

“You were so vulnerable — that’s why I chose you, and why I was able to bond with you so quickly and so deeply.”   The psychopath I was involved with spoke these words to me the last time I saw him. It sickened me to hear them and to learn...