I‘ve said several times on this website, “you are forged by fire.” You may have thought is was a metaphor, but it was not. And it was not just any fire, but the explosions of massive stars, called supernovas, which can be billions of times as bright as the sun. Nothing lights up the cosmos like a supernova. When a star dies in such a spectacular way, its demise releases huge quantities of matter that is propelled across space. What happens to all this star matter that travels at great velocities through the cosmos?

One thing that happened is that it became you.


The carbon, nitrogen and oxygen atoms in our bodies, as well as atoms of all other heavy elements, were created by stars billions of years ago. And you don’t just have a few particles of stars within you. Every single atom in your body—the calcium in your bones, the carbon in your genes, the iron in your blood–was created in a star billions of years ago. These particles you’re made of were formed shortly after the Big Bang began 13.7 billion years ago. Did you have any idea you have atoms in your body that are over 13 billion years old?

You are literally made of stardust, that has been in existence since the beginning of the universe.

If that weren’t amazing enough, there is something far more amazing about you…

You are stardust brought to life.


And although scientists know we are made of stardust, no one has yet figured out exactly how that stardust comes to life. Not only do the origins of life remain a mystery, but so do the origins of the matter that life springs from.

And why stop there? We may be alone in the universe, which makes you an exceptionally rare being.  Although it seems improbable that in the limitless vastness of the universe–one that contains trillions of planets–we humans stand alone, the Rare Earth Hypothesis suggests otherwise. Some scientists theorize that the development of life as it is on Earth was the result of an improbable and exacting combination of astrophysical and geological events and circumstances. The hypothesis argues that complex extraterrestrial life is a very improbable phenomenon and likely to be extremely rare.


What does any of this have to do with psychopaths? Absolutely nothing. But what might it mean for you?

To me, it means that your very existence—your life, and you—are exceptionally rare and precious. It also means that the indestructible star–matter from which you are created is within you, in part as the energy of strength and resilience.  E=mc2, after all.

I find all of this very empowering, and I hope you do, too. It takes me out of my usual perspective and everyday concerns. It reminds me of how powerful we truly are, how amazing it is that each of us is here now, and how connected we are to everything, even to the stars.

Especially to the stars.


Stars don’t disappear when they explode; they are simply transformed. And like the stars we are made of, we too have the ability to be transformed by our “explosions,” the struggles we face that blow our worlds to bits. We share the resilience of the stars we are made from. Resiliency is your capacity for psychological and spiritual renewal and recovery in the face of trauma and even disaster. Rather than letting devastation defeat us, we can  emerge from the chaos, transformed.

The time for beauty and wonder and for understanding the deep connection that binds you to the earth and the stars above has not ended. The time to fight to regain your awareness of that wonder and connection has begun.

Nothing can mess with a star; they are huge and powerful. But you are made from stars, and like them you are unmessable. Even if you’ve exploded in your own personal supernova, you will endure.



by Joni Mitchell

I came upon a child of God
He was walking along the road
And I asked him where are you going
And this he told me
I’m going on down to Yasgur’s farm
I’m going to join in a rock ‘n’ roll band
I’m going to camp out on the land
I’m going to try an’ get my soul free

We are stardust
We are golden
And we’ve got to get ourselves
Back to the garden

Then can I walk beside you
I have come here to lose the smog
And I feel to be a cog in something turning
Well maybe it’s the time of year
Or maybe it’s the time of man
I don’t know who I am
But you know life is for learning

We are stardust
We are golden
And we’ve got to get ourselves
Back to the garden

By the time we got to Woodstock
We were half a million strong
And everywhere there was song and celebration
And I dreamed I saw the bombers
Riding shotgun in the sky
And they were turning into butterflies
Above our nation

We are stardust
Billion year old carbon
We are golden
Caught in the devil’s bargain
And we’ve got to get ourselves
back to the garden



♥ Like a star, unmessable you


etched divider


 “Excellent, excellent book! It brought me understanding and closure!”

“Invaluable. Having been in a relationship with a psychopath for many years, I desperately needed some insight into what had happened and why. I have gained a tremendous amount of strength and knowledge toward healing from years of abuse by reading this book. One of the best.”

“Insightful and informative! This book provides a good understanding of psychopath’s traits. It’s very helpful the author broke it down in different subjects for giving the complete view of a psychopath.”

“Five Stars. Very helpful.”





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