TOPSY-TURVY WORLD

I once wrote here that “in the psychopath’s world, things are topsy-turvy. The psychopath sees our strengths as flaws, and sees his flaws as strengths. Things like love and trust and compassion make us fools who are easy to manipulate, while their ability to...

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Illusions Shattered, Innocence Lost, Identity Shaken

“That sense of loss grew within the humans who had been left behind, left to live without unicorns. Even the ones who had never seen a unicorn, never heard of a unicorn, felt the passing of something sweet and wonderful. It was as if the air had surrendered a bit of...

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All the World’s a Stage… To a Psychopath

IMAGINE, for a moment, being a psychopath. Try to imagine not having a conscience. What would that be like? You would not have any feelings of guilt, shame or remorse, no matter how immoral or even heinous an action you’d taken. Imagine having no concern for...

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Reality, Denied: GASLIGHTING

“I NEVER said that!”  (my psychopathic ex) The entire “relationship” with my psychopathic ex was one long episode of gaslighting, as they are for all of us. “Gaslighting” is a term commonly used to describe behavior that is inherently...

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Reasonable Facsimile

  were a reasonable facsimile. Closer inspection revealed Your leaking battery and rusted springs Plastic painted to resemble flesh And an old watch ticking in place of a heart.   Factory-made.     Wind you up And you smiled You danced You sang...

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In the Aftermath: GRIEF

The person you loved—maybe more than you ever loved anyone before—and who loved you just as much, is gone from your life, never to return. Of course you’re grieving. But wait a minute, you tell yourself. You shouldn’t be grieving because you...

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Fear, Hatred and Superstition VS Empowerment

Early on in my trauma, I felt incredibly and unbearably vulnerable. And I hated the psychopath I’d been involved with. In fact, I hated all psychopaths. I feared them, too. They terrified me. I felt there might be one lurking behind every bush and every smiling...

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Curiosity Killed the Cat: The Harbingers of Intuition

He captured my attention, right away. I didn’t know why. All he was doing was leaning casually against a wall in the back of the room, hands in his pockets, chewing a piece of gum and looking down at his shoe. He certainly wasn’t someone I’d normally...

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Defeated? Damaged? Destroyed? TURN, TURN, TURN!

“The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with...

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“I Should Have Known”

  “I should have known.” Are you still telling yourself that, or believing others who say it?     “Life can only be understood backwards, but it must be lived forwards.” ~ Søren Kierkegaard   Such a simple phrase, and yet so...

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I Promise You, I’m No Gigolo!

“I promise you, I’m no gigolo!”   The psychopath I was involved with said that to me one night, out of nowhere. As it turned out, he was absolutely a gigolo. Even worse, a psychopathic one. His promise was broken. Beware the Unsolicited Promise,...

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A Grin Without a Cat

  “Well! I’ve often seen a cat without a grin,” thought Alice; “but a grin without a cat! It’s the most curious thing I ever saw in my life!” (ALICE’S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND, LEWIS CARROLL)   Alice’s trip into Wonderland would become curioser and...

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The Psychopath: An Empty Boat

If a man is crossing a river And an empty boat collides with his own boat, He will not become very angry. But if he sees a man in the boat, He will shout to him to steer clear. And if the shout is not heard he will shout Again, and yet again, and begin cursing –...

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Your Feedback is Needed for Doctoral Research

Your input is needed for a study on survivors of abusive romantic relationships with psychopaths and narcissists. This is a valuable opportunity to share your experience with a researcher who understands, and who wants to learn more. I have already taken the study and...

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Psychopathic Medicine and The White Wall of Silence

  Today I’m deviating from the subject of psychopaths and love, and delving instead into psychopaths and medicine, for good reason: so you can protect yourself and your loved ones when you seek medical care. Law enforcement is known for having a “blue...

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Feeling Crazy? Unstable? Unhinged?

If you weren’t “crazy,” unstable or *borderline before you were involved with an abusive manipulator, chances are good that you aren’t now. But after being blamed and called crazy by the abuser, disbelieved by family and friends, and perhaps...

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Love Not Bombs: LOVE BOMBING

You’ve finally found “the one.” Your relationship seems otherworldly, and your emotional high is so high it feels as if you’ve taken a potent, euphoria-inducing drug. You believe you’ve found your soulmate and can’t believe your good...

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First, Do No Harm: Abusive Psychotherapists

ALL IMAGES IN THIS POST ARE BY CDD20 | 愚木混株| SHANGHAI, CHINA   When reaching out for help after an abusive relationship, some people end up being re-traumatized by a therapist. Others sustained their initial trauma from an abusive therapist. Recently, I heard...

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Others Have It Worse Than Me: SELF-INVALIDATION

When I was small my mother told me, “Finish your dinner! There are children starving in Africa.” I promptly suggested that we box up my dinner, along with some of the food in the pantry, and send it to them. After all, how was finishing my dinner going to...

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Knowledge is Power: Never Be Manipulated Again

Never let anyone get away with manipulating you again. Empower yourself! Identifying covert emotional manipulation is tricky. You sense something is wrong, but you can’t quite put your finger on the problem. Covert emotional manipulation tactics are underhanded...

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Thoughts On the Eve of the New Year

May you have peace of mind in the midst of uncertainty, love to replace your fear, an absolute faith in yourself, a deep understanding of your true worth, the strength to meet your challenges, the resilience to heal, dear friends who truly know and love you, an open...

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A Holiday Wish for You

  Heartfelt holiday wishes, gratitude and thanks to each of you, without whom this website would be nothing more than words written on the ether. They are only given meaning when they connect with you.  May the holidays and the coming year bring you...

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Into the Mirror… and Out Again

  Psychopaths know they have to hide what they truly are in order to win your heart. A psychopath knows you would not want anything to do with him or her if they didn’t. And when they’re trying to trap you, who do they pretend to be? You. That...

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The Wizards of Id

Follow the yellow brick road Follow the yellow brick road Follow the rainbow over the stream Follow the fellow who follows a dream…   When we inadvertently followed a psychopath down their yellow brick road, Emerald City isn’t what we found at the...

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Psychopaths Are Boring. We Are Fascinating.

Psychopaths are boring. We are fascinating.   How do we know this is true?   They’re in constant pursuit of us, while we try to do everything we can to stay away from them.   They have to play games with us because they have nothing real to offer....

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EMPATHY: What It Is and Why You Need It

  “One doesn’t have to operate with great malice to do great harm. The absence of empathy and understanding are sufficient.” (Charles M. Blow)   Many of you reading this have been involved with someone who had no empathy, and you have experienced the harm...

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Psychopathy… Or Asperger’s Syndrome?

“Talking with my ex-husband is like smashing my head against a wall or drowning in a river. We were not speaking the same language and misunderstandings were the rule. I learned the hard way what Asperger Syndrome was.” ~ Anonymous...

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Psychopathy: Is It In Their Eyes?

“It’s their eyes that are the most remarkable feature. How they drill into you.” (Dr. Robert Hare, psychopathy expert)   Do a psychopath’s eyes give them away? Are they a reliable sign we can use to identify and avoid them? The answer might just...

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To Trust or Not To Trust… Is That the Question?

  “It was a mistake. But the cruel thing was, it felt like the mistake was mine, for trusting you.” (David Levithan, The Lover’s Dictionary)   How will I ever trust again? That’s a question I hear again and again. And it’s not surprising,...

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The Transformative Power of Telling Your Story

  “Writing is an essential step in telling one’s story, because writing enables us to create order out of memory’s chaos.” ~ Leila Levinson, author of Gated Grief: The Daughter of a GI Concentration Camp Liberator Discovers a Legacy of...

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Hallelujah! The Peace and Healing of Acceptance

“It is so. It cannot be otherwise.” ~ Inscription on the Ruins of a 15th Century Cathedral in Amsterdam   What is acceptance? And how can it help you heal from the trauma of psychopathic victimization? Acceptance is, put simply, the acknowledgement of reality....

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Want To Reclaim Your Power? Re-Write Your Story!

“It is by going down into the abyss that we recover the treasures of life. Where you stumble, there lies your treasure.” (Joseph Campbell) There is a difference between what happened and the story you tell yourself about it. The facts can’t be changed, but the...

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Warning Others: Will It Work?

“Thank God I’m not the only one, but what can we do as a collective to warn people about these sick individuals so they don’t keep harming others?” ~ A comment from a reader   Her question is a good one. None of us were warned about the...

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Michelle Carter: Depraved Heart Murderer?

“You always say you’re gonna do it, but you never do. I just want to make sure tonight is the real thing.” (Michelle Carter)   It looks like Michelle Carter’s psychopathic cat might be out of the bag. Carter, 18, of Plainville, MA, was 17...

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11 Places Psychopaths Hunt

Where do psychopaths hunt, and how do they do it? How you can avoid becoming their prey? When psychopaths see an opportunity, they go for it. Since they’re opportunists, you can be targeted by one of them anywhere. But some places do present a higher risk than...

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Why You? And How Did You Get Trapped?

“Why me? And how did I get trapped?” ~ A Reader   All of us asked ourselves these questions. It’s important to try and answer them. Why you? Psychopaths can sense who will be receptive.  What made you receptive? The answer to that question is...

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The Healing Power of Awe

“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” ~ W.B. Yeats   One day I was reading a psychopath’s blog (as I am sometimes prone to doing) and he asked if someone would please explain something to him. He said that...

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Manipulation: How Far Can It Go?

“I don’t understand why she would give it all up for a piece of sh*t killer. He must have played some serious mind games on her.” ~ A relative of Joyce Mitchell   When this story was unfolding in the news, I thought it would turn into a Major Teaching Moment...

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Is He or Isn’t He? Why It Doesn’t Matter

Dole or Chiquita? Either way, this guy’s bananas. Is he or isn’t he? That is the question. Or is it? “We had a fight, and I can see that he is genuinely feeling awful from the pics he posts of himself on FB. I know there are different levels of...

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Intensity or Intimacy? A Relationship Litmus Test

“I was addicted to a high that only my abuser could give me. Because the lower an abuser puts someone, the higher they can elevate them.” ~ Amanda Domuracki, Culture Shock, The Highs and Lows of Emotional Abuse   I t seemed that magic had entered our...

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Words are More Real Than Reality

“The basic tool for the manipulation of reality is the manipulation of words.” – Phillip Dick Words are more real than reality. Of course they’re not really more real, but it sure seems that way sometimes. Manipulators know this; it’s how...

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Who Dares Conquer?

  A short poem, by me for you!   Who Dares Conquer   Slumbering, We stand within a dream Above Below And nothing in between Alone amidst a distant place, Our backs are turned to beauty And to grace. Before accepting Of defeat Let wonder slip Between...

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Invalidation: I Refuse to Have This Discussion!

“When we invalidate people or deny their perceptions and personal experiences, we make mental invalids of them. When one’s feelings are denied a person can be made to feel crazy even when they are perfectly mentally healthy.” (R.D. Laing, MD, psychiatrist)...

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Self-Respect: The Key to Everything

“Self love, self respect, self worth – all interlinked and vital.” ~ Jane Thorne Self respect can be in short supply after being manipulated, abused and devalued by a psychopath. Losing our self respect stems from the feeling that we compromised our own...

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The Self-Compassion Effect

Step outside yourself for a moment, if you will, and turn and look at yourself. There you are, the ‘you’ who was mistreated and who is now treating yourself so harshly, who is feeling shame, despair, doubt, outrage, confusion, self-doubt, deep sadness,...

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Forgiveness: The Other F-Word

You can probably tell by the title that I’m not an advocate of forgiving ruthless predators who victimize without remorse and who will keep doing so. If you have chosen to forgive and it helps you heal, that’s great. This blog post is for those of you who...

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The Cult of Two

“Power is in tearing human minds to pieces and putting them together again in new shapes of your own choosing.” ~ George Orwell, 1984 That quote describes perfectly the radical psychological process of brainwashing. A person involved with a psychopath was manipulated,...

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Angry? There’s a Reason for That

“Anger is never without a reason, but seldom with a good one.” ~ Benjamin Franklin That passes as good advice? I don’t believe it should. Anger is a universal emotion that exists for a reason. Yes, sometimes it’s unwarranted, but it’s up...

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DOUBT: Friend or Foe?

Doubt is the main theme when involved with a psychopath. They are the embodiment of duplicity, contradiction, and confusion. The whole charade exists under the shadow of doubt. Doubt permeates it like a thick fog blanketing a city. It seeps through the tiniest cracks,...

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Moral Injury: The Hidden Wound to the Soul

When inward tenderness finds the secret hurt, Pain itself will crack the rock and Ahhh! let the soul emerge. ~ Rumi You were victimized by a psychopath, a person with a disorder characterized by egocentricity, deceitfulness, impulsivity, a lack of empathy, the...

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Backed Into an Emotional Corner

You always overreact! You’re unstable! You have a problem with anger!  You’re… CRAZY!  C hances are good that you were accused of at least a few of these things if you were involved with a manipulator. A psychopath will say such things after...

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At the Intersection of Truth and Lies: Self-Blame

“You saddled me with a lie I never deserved. I won’t forgive you for it… You led me to believe I was responsible.” ~ The Prize, Irving Wallace   Most people experience self-blame after involvement with a psychopath, for good reason. These master manipulators are...

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Emergency: Self-Blame

Self-Blame is the subject of this ’emergency’ blog post. I heard from a reader a couple of days ago who put the issue of self-blame front and center in my thoughts. Self-blame lurks in many of the comments written here, and although I’ve talked about...

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Down the Rabbit Hole

You fell down the rabbit hole. You didn’t know it — you only thought you had found true love. You left the mundane world behind and didn’t look back, nor did you want to. You were let in on the secret handshake. You finally got a break, and it was...

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The Known, the Unknown and the Unknowable

“There are things known and there are things unknown, and in between are the doors of perception.” ~ Aldous Huxley The unknown is always encountered in the midst of the known. It manifests within what is usual and familiar, and hides there. The unknown is the serpent...

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The Unique and Powerful Harm of Betrayal

“There’s coming out of relationships, there’s getting your heart broken, and then there’s that rare and special time you crawl out of a relationship bleeding at your knees, heart shattered, brain smashed, gut splattered and wondering what the point of reality...

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Your Own Personal Apocalypse

“I can’t go on. I’ll go on.” (Samuel Beckett) Most of us have said those words in the aftermath of a psychopath. At first, we think “I can’t go on.” Those days are the darkest. At some point, we dare to think “I’ll go...

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A Pearl of Truth and Wisdom

Today I received a comment from a reader named Lovisa. I’m sharing it here so all of you will read it. I’ve said it before in different ways, but it’s a fundamental truth worth repeating a hundred times, and Lovisa has captured and expressed it...

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A New Book is Born — MORE Psychopaths and Love

I’m very excited to announce the birth of a new book, More Psychopaths and Love.   If you were the victim of psychopathic abuse, or just want to learn about it, this book is for you. I send it out into the world with the wish that it will find its way into...

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You Had the Power All Along

Power without compassion is the worst kind of evil there is. ~ E.J. Patten, Return to Exile In order to win our love and trust, a psychopath must gain two things — power and control. Without those, they are nothing. The greater the power, the more dangerous the...

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The Holy Grail of the Psychopath

Psychopaths put on quite a show to gain our love and trust. They create a grand illusion, complete with arrow-slinging cupids and fireworks worthy of the Fourth of July. To be able to do that they have to pretend to be something they’re not, day after day. They...

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Paradox and Confusion

 “It is an interesting paradox because inside my head I am positively insane but ‘outside’ my head I am perfectly normal (when need be).” ~ anonymous psychopath That someone can be insane but appear normal is an incredible paradox. How can it...

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The Game You Didn’t Know You Were Playing

When targeted by a psychopath, we unwittingly become an opponent in a game we don’t even know we’re playing. The stakes are high and the odds are stacked in their favor. They make the rules, and play to win. How could they lose, with such unfair...

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Protect Your Most Valuable Asset — YOU

There was a time, not so long ago or far away, when “psychopathic predator” was not on my mental list of Things That Could Possibly Go Wrong. It never entered my awareness, so there was no way I could have expected it or prepared myself to deal with it. It...

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What Zombies Can Teach Us About Psychopaths

  Is a psychopath conscious?   First, what does it mean to be conscious? Consciousness is our subjective experience. It’s the feeling of being inside your own head, looking out. The philospher David Chalmers explores “the hard problem of...

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Emotion or Logic? Three Ways to Have Them Both

About a year after my experience of being involved with a psychopath, I had a conversation with an acquaintance about dating and trust. He said that when he was much younger, he had begun dating a woman he was enamored with. He said he admired what he saw as her...

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From Adversity, Forge Meaning

On this New Year’s day the future opens before us sparkling with promise, yet tainted by the experience of having been victimized by a psychopath. What can we do with that experience, so it doesn’t keep us on the side of the road when we want to move...

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The Real Reason You Were Victimized By a Psychopath

You fell for a psychopath.   You were duped, and you paid dearly. You lost time. You lost faith in others and in yourself. You experienced unimaginable grief. It’s a story that will always be a part of your life. But this story is not a story of your flaws,...

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Resilience — You’ve Got It

Betrayal. Victimization. Devastation. Confusion. A profound loss of faith in God, in Humanity, in Justice.   How can we ever recover? I hear from many people who tell me they were destroyed by their experience with a psychopath. If you believe you were, please...

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Can We Ever Trust Again?

“Don’t ever trust anyone ever again!”   That was my mother’s advice to me when I told her about the psychopath. My response was, “How could you want such a terrible life for me?” As I imagined ‘never trusting anyone...

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Is There a “Psycho” In a Psychopath?

Are psychopaths psychotic?   It is said that psychopaths aren’t insane, because they have an absence of delusions and other signs of irrational thinking. Is this correct? Something about it doesn’t seem quite right. “The term ‘psychosis’...

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Narcissist or Psychopath? What You Need To Know

Dante and Virgil in the Ninth Circle of Hell by Gustave Dore Narcissist or psychopath?   It’s hard to tell the difference. Both are self-absorbed, arrogant, manipulative and insensitive. They share similar characteristics and behaviors, and both are...

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Freedom: The Ultimate Relationship Litmus Test

The very first thing I felt after the psychopath discarded me was absolute and utter relief.   I remember the long, deep breath I took, and the feeling of my entire body relaxing. This feeling of relief was quickly overpowered by other emotions, but I will never...

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Hocus-Pocus: It’s All In the Focus

“You were so vulnerable — that’s why I chose you, and why I was able to bond with you so quickly and so deeply.”   The psychopath I was involved with spoke these words to me the last time I saw him. It sickened me to hear them and to learn...

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Shame: A Festering Wound of the Soul

Shame.   It’s the core of our experience with a psychopath. We experience shame when we’re with a psychopath, and we experience shame when it’s over. Psychopaths are experts at shaming us in so many ways.  Even after they’re gone, the...

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Fear and Manipulation: Perfect Together

Creating fear is the best way to set someone up for manipulation.   Fear is a primal human state. It begins in childhood. Even if no real danger exists, we fear monsters hiding under the bed or in the closet. Fear robs us of our ability to think rationally....

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Compassion For the Psychopath?

I imagine a day in the future when a cure for psychopathy is found.   Public announcements will be made informing psychopaths far and wide of free clinics that will offer the cure. An army of nurses in white will stand at the ready, their medicine cups arranged...

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Fox in the Hen House: The Dangers of Forums

Several readers have asked me why I don’t have a forum on this website. The only problem in answering this question is where to begin.   I’ll start here: I don’t recommend traumatized people visit online forums because of the amount of secondary...

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The Nemesis of the Psychopath: BOREDOM

“Damned if you do, bored if you don’t.”   The thought of a bored psychopath is kind of scary. And yet the thought of a psychopath who isn’t bored is kind of scary, too. Seriously, though, psychopaths have a real problem with boredom. They become bored very...

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In The Matrix of the Psychopath

The Matrix.   One of my favorite movies ever.  I got to thinking about how it parallels our experience with  a psychopath when a very dear reader, ‘efemeris,’ said this: “I connect psychopaths to computer hackers and viruses. They come in many...

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What Ebola Can Teach Us About Psychopaths

For the past few days,   I’ve wanted to write a post about those suffering with the Ebola virus and the very brave people who help them. Since this is a blog about psychopaths, I needed to find a way to connect them. I found my answer this morning when I went to...

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Psychopathic Seduction Secrets, Revealed!

    WHAT MAKES PSYCHOPATHS SUCH LEGENDARY SEDUCERS?  Finally, here they are… Seduction Secrets of the Psychopath   ♥ Psychopaths have a grandiose, unshakable, pathological sense of self-confidence. ♥ They feel no fear, so they have no...

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Walking Through the Shadow of the Uncanny Valley

     The psychopath I was involved with sometimes made strange and disturbing facial expressions.  A sad face with the corners of his mouth turned up just a little too much. A high-voltage smile that would have blown every transformer in town if he were hooked up...

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The Big List of Psychopathy Characteristics, Part 2

   Part 2 The Big List of Psychopathy Characteristics   Today the list includes affective (emotional) characteristics of psychopathy. Again, these are things the psychopath tries to hide. The characteristics of psychopathy are divided into three groups:...

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The Big List of Psychopathy Characteristics, Part One

 The Big List, Part One Here it is, the first of three parts of the big list of psychopathy characteristics I’ve been working on putting together. The characteristics of psychopathy are divided into three groups: Cognitive (thought) Affective (emotion) Behavior...

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Should You Forgive the Psychopath?

“Norms of forgiveness seem unduly to burden the oppressed.” – Nancy A. Stanlick Forgiveness. It’s what good people should do, right? We’re told that forgiveness is the only way to get rid of feelings of anger and animosity.  We’re told that...

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The Psychopath: Truly and Fundamentally Different

 “My mother, the most beautiful person in the world. She was strong, she worked hard to take care of four kids. A beautiful person. I started stealing her jewelry when I was in the fifth grade. You know, I never really knew the bitch — we went our separate...

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It’s Time for More ‘Visitors and Love’

 About one year ago,   I created a post similar to this one to acknowledge all of you who come to this website. I’ve decided to make it a yearly tradition. Many more of you find your way here one year later, from many more countries around the world. On an...

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Liminality, the Unsettling Space of In-Between

After our experience in a psychopathic bond, we are shaken to our core. The firm foundation we believed we stood on crumbled beneath us and we hang on, barely, in any way we can.  We find ourselves in a liminal place — a place of ‘in-between.’ It is...

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Are You Contemplating Ending Your Life?

  This morning I received a note from a reader named Michael who said, “I am so emotionally devastated that I have been struggling to keep myself safe from suicide.” ♥ To Michael and other readers who may be contemplating suicide, my heart goes out to...

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Falling Into a Parallel Universe

Psychopathy is the best-kept secret.  It’s a wildly popular subject, and it has been for a while. Psychopathic characters pop up everywhere. They’re portrayed in movies and on TV. Best-selling books are written about them. In reams of articles, we hear...

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The Missing Piece in the Puzzle of Psychopathy

As I read all I could find about psychopathy, I found something was missing. A key piece of the puzzle was consistently absent, and it bothered me. I wasn’t sure how much this missing piece even mattered, but it seemed important enough to make me search for it...

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The Hidden Vulnerability We All Have, Revealed

We’ve learned there are many things that leave us vulnerable to predatory manipulators. But no discussion of what may make us vulnerable is complete without revealing one vulnerability we all have, but that remains hidden from us. We see others and the world...

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Post-Traumatic Growth

Writing about the hero’s journey inspired me to continue with this positive theme and talk about Post-Traumatic Growth (PTG). “Trauma creates a rupture in a person’s life story. Assumptions about ourselves, our place in world, and our expectations about...

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Your Journey is the Hero’s Journey

“It is by going down into the abyss that we recover the treasures of life. Where you stumble, there lies your treasure.” ~Joseph Campbell Recovery from involvement in a psychopathic bond was a long and rocky road. But in the arduous process of healing after it was...

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Soul Mates and Psychopaths

“Soul mates.” Those are the words victims use to describe the seemingly magical connection they felt in the beginning of a relationship with a psychopath. I didn’t even believe in the concept of soul mates, so I was doubly surprised and amazed when I...

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Advice for Dealing with a Violent Ex

 Recently I got a comment from a terrified reader with a violent ex, who didn’t know where to turn. She wrote, “Two years ago I found out I was pregnant with our second child. Let me tell you, it does NOT get better. During that pregnancy, I endured abuse...

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Psychopaths and Love, the Book, is Now Available

  Psychopaths and Love is now available as a book! I’ve taken the best and most popular posts and pages (through November 2013) and organized it so it gives you what you need to know, in a logical and concise way. Learn what a psychopath is and how to...

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The Mask of the Psychopath

What is the mask of a psychopath? Psychopaths wear a ‘mask’ — a fake persona — to hide who they really are. They construct different masks for different people and situations, and use those masks to manipulate and get what they want. They are...

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How to Avoid a Relationship with a Psychopath

When we’re imagining our ideal relationship, no one thinks: “I want to be in an unhappy relationship with a person who is only out to dominate and humiliate me, and who will use me for sex and entertainment along the way. Ideally, he’ll be someone who has no respect...

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More Awe and Beauty

More awe and beauty to remind you that life is much more than what you can see right now. This may resonate with you in an unexpected way. Here is Felix Baumgartner, jumping into the void from 128,000 feet (24+ miles up) and reaching a speed of 834 MPH, without a...

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Let’s Take a Break for Beauty

I just came across this gorgeous video and I want to share it with you. Put aside all the ugliness for just 5 minutes, and instead witness a glimpse of the inexplicable beauty of life. There is just something about this video that captures it so well, at least for me....

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Charm and the Psychopath

One mustn’t look into the abyss, because there is at the bottom an inexplicable charm which attracts us. ~ Gustave Flaubert Charm. What is it, and why is the charm of the psychopath so powerful?  I’m not sure where the following description of charm came...

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Freedom From the Psychopath

     “All things human hang by a slender thread; and that which seemed to stand strong suddenly falls and sinks in ruins” ~Ovid The illusion of the psychopath “standing strong” can’t last. Cracks appear in his mask of smoke and mirrors....

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Traits of the Psychopath’s Victim

  Do you have traits that make you vulnerable to psychopathic manipulation? There are certain traits we may have that make us more likely to be victimized by psychopaths. This in no way suggests a victim is to blame — the predator is clearly the one to...

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How to Tell if You’re Being Manipulated

Emotional manipulation can be so subtle and undercover, it can control you for quite a while before you figure out what’s happening, if you ever do. Some manipulators are highly skilled. They’re described by some as puppet masters, and you could become an...

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Vulnerability and the Psychopath

Psychopaths can easily spot a vulnerable person. They have an uncanny ability to look at a you and tell if you’re a potential victim, one who will easily succumb to their mind games and provide them with what they need. Vulnerability is defined as being “capable...

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The Three Most Powerful Words Should Never Be a Lie

“I love you” are the three most powerful words ever spoken. They connect, transform and heal. When those words are said but not meant, they are something else entirely; they are implements of harm, and foretell of bad things to come. When “I love you” is a lie, it is...

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How to Help a Friend Victimized by a Psychopath

“We shall be friends to those heartbroken and in sorrow. We shall share their sorrow.” ~Rumi ♥ W hen victims reach out to their family and friends after being victimized by a psychopath, many are disappointed by their responses. Deeply disappointed. A victim may have...

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Faith That You Will Heal is the Key to Healing

In your darkest hours, you may wonder if you will ever heal from something as awful as what you have been through, having been the victim of a psychopath. The experience might have left you questioning the meaning and purpose of your life, and of life in general. It...

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