It’s Not You, It’s Me and My Hyper-Reactive Dopaminergic Reward System
Neurons as art, by painter and neuroscientist Gregg Dunn When the psychopath I was involved with discarded me, he was enraged. With a voice full of anger and contempt, he shouted, “You bore me! I’m done with you!” I was shocked and deeply...
Genuine Attraction, Manipulation or Something More? Dr. Rhonda Freeman Explains
Yesterday I found a nice surprise in my inbox—a comment from Rhonda Freeman, PhD, clinical neuropsychologist and psychopathy expert. She had come to answer a reader’s question, clarifying and expanding on information I quoted from her website,...
Psychopathic Medicine and The White Wall of Silence
Today I’m deviating from the subject of psychopaths and love, and delving instead into psychopaths and medicine, for good reason: so you can protect yourself and your loved ones when you seek medical care. Law enforcement is known for having a “blue...
Feeling Crazy? Unstable? Unhinged?
If you weren’t “crazy,” unstable or *borderline before you were involved with an abusive manipulator, chances are good that you aren’t now. But after being blamed and called crazy by the abuser, disbelieved by family and friends, and perhaps...
You Are Born of Chaos and Stars, and Are Stronger and More Resilient Than You Know
I‘ve said several times on this website, “you are forged by fire.” You may have thought is was a metaphor, but it was not. And it was not just any fire, but the explosions of massive stars, called supernovas, which can be billions of times as bright...
Love Not Bombs: LOVE BOMBING
You’ve finally found “the one.” Your relationship seems otherworldly, and your emotional high is so high it feels as if you’ve taken a potent, euphoria-inducing drug. You believe you’ve found your soulmate and can’t believe your good...
First, Do No Harm: Abusive Psychotherapists
ALL IMAGES IN THIS POST ARE BY CDD20 | 愚木混株| SHANGHAI, CHINA When reaching out for help after an abusive relationship, some people end up being re-traumatized by a therapist. Others sustained their initial trauma from an abusive therapist. Recently, I heard...
Others Have It Worse Than Me: SELF-INVALIDATION
When I was small my mother told me, “Finish your dinner! There are children starving in Africa.” I promptly suggested that we box up my dinner, along with some of the food in the pantry, and send it to them. After all, how was finishing my dinner going to...
Knowledge is Power: Never Be Manipulated Again
Never let anyone get away with manipulating you again. Empower yourself! Identifying covert emotional manipulation is tricky. You sense something is wrong, but you can’t quite put your finger on the problem. Covert emotional manipulation tactics are underhanded...
Thoughts On the Eve of the New Year
May you have peace of mind in the midst of uncertainty, love to replace your fear, an absolute faith in yourself, a deep understanding of your true worth, the strength to meet your challenges, the resilience to heal, dear friends who truly know and love you, an open...
A Holiday Wish for You
Heartfelt holiday wishes, gratitude and thanks to each of you, without whom this website would be nothing more than words written on the ether. They are only given meaning when they connect with you. May the holidays and the coming year bring you...
Persistence of Memory: The Phenomenon of Intrusive Thoughts
“It feels like a thorn in my brain.” That’s how one reader described the intrusive thoughts that plague us long after a psychopath is out of our lives. Other descriptions I’ve heard: A self-replicating thought spiral A consciousness...
Greatest Hits, Vol. 1: How Can You Tell if You’re Being Manipulated?
Image by The Wandering Faun You may have missed this post, but I wouldn’t want you to because it’s an important one. Even if you read it before, it’s worth a review. We all have some concern about getting involved with another manipulator, so...
Into the Mirror… and Out Again
Psychopaths know they have to hide what they truly are in order to win your heart. A psychopath knows you would not want anything to do with him or her if they didn’t. And when they’re trying to trap you, who do they pretend to be? You. That...
The Wizards of Id
Follow the yellow brick road Follow the yellow brick road Follow the rainbow over the stream Follow the fellow who follows a dream… When we inadvertently followed a psychopath down their yellow brick road, Emerald City isn’t what we found at the...
Psychopaths Are Boring. We Are Fascinating.
Psychopaths are boring. We are fascinating. How do we know this is true? They’re in constant pursuit of us, while we try to do everything we can to stay away from them. They have to play games with us because they have nothing real to offer....
EMPATHY: What It Is and Why You Need It
“One doesn’t have to operate with great malice to do great harm. The absence of empathy and understanding are sufficient.” (Charles M. Blow) Many of you reading this have been involved with someone who had no empathy, and you have experienced the harm...
Psychopathy… Or Asperger’s Syndrome?
“Talking with my ex-husband is like smashing my head against a wall or drowning in a river. We were not speaking the same language and misunderstandings were the rule. I learned the hard way what Asperger Syndrome was.” ~ Anonymous...
Psychopathy: Is It In Their Eyes?
“It’s their eyes that are the most remarkable feature. How they drill into you.” (Dr. Robert Hare, psychopathy expert) Do a psychopath’s eyes give them away? Are they a reliable sign we can use to identify and avoid them? The answer might just...
To Trust or Not To Trust… Is That the Question?
“It was a mistake. But the cruel thing was, it felt like the mistake was mine, for trusting you.” (David Levithan, The Lover’s Dictionary) How will I ever trust again? That’s a question I hear again and again. And it’s not surprising,...
The Transformative Power of Telling Your Story
“Writing is an essential step in telling one’s story, because writing enables us to create order out of memory’s chaos.” ~ Leila Levinson, author of Gated Grief: The Daughter of a GI Concentration Camp Liberator Discovers a Legacy of...
The Peace and Healing of Acceptance
“It is so. It cannot be otherwise.” ~ Inscription on the Ruins of a 15th Century Cathedral in Amsterdam What is acceptance? And how can it help you heal from the trauma of psychopathic victimization? Acceptance is, put simply, the acknowledgement of reality....
Want To Reclaim Your Power? Re-Write Your Story!
“It is by going down into the abyss that we recover the treasures of life. Where you stumble, there lies your treasure.” (Joseph Campbell) There is a difference between what happened and the story you tell yourself about it. The facts can’t be changed, but the...
Warning Others: Will It Work?
“Thank God I’m not the only one, but what can we do as a collective to warn people about these sick individuals so they don’t keep harming others?” ~ A comment from a reader Her question is a good one. None of us were warned about the...
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