SAFE ZONE for Victims of Married Psychopaths

SAFE ZONE for Victims of Married Psychopaths

This website is a safe zone for those of you who were victimized by a married psychopath or narcissist, and also for those of you who were married when you were victimized. There is no judgement here. I myself was exploited by a married psychopath, and I dealt with...
Blue Christmas

Blue Christmas

“In the bleak midwinter Earth stood hard as iron, Water like a stone Snow had fallen, snow on snow, snow on snow In the bleak midwinter, long ago.” (In the Bleak Midwinter, a Christmas carol) If the words above describe how you feel, my heart goes out to...
MASS MANIPULATION: How Did it Happen?

MASS MANIPULATION: How Did it Happen?

“In a time of deceit, telling the truth is a revolutionary act.” (George Orwell, 1984) Something bizarre is going on. Every day, there is more drama. Everywhere, despite mounting evidence, people are denying facts. At every turn, we hear words unbound by truth or...
TOPSY-TURVY WORLD

TOPSY-TURVY WORLD

I once wrote here that “in the psychopath’s world, things are topsy-turvy. The psychopath sees our strengths as flaws, and sees his flaws as strengths. Things like love and trust and compassion make us fools who are easy to manipulate, while their ability to...
All the World’s a Stage… To a Psychopath

All the World’s a Stage… To a Psychopath

IMAGINE, for a moment, being a psychopath. Try to imagine not having a conscience. What would that be like? You would not have any feelings of guilt, shame or remorse, no matter how immoral or even heinous an action you’d taken. Imagine having no concern for...
Reality, Denied: GASLIGHTING

Reality, Denied: GASLIGHTING

“I NEVER said that!”  (my psychopathic ex) The entire “relationship” with my psychopathic ex was one long episode of gaslighting, as they are for all of us. “Gaslighting” is a term commonly used to describe behavior that is inherently...
Reasonable Facsimile

Reasonable Facsimile

  were a reasonable facsimile. Closer inspection revealed Your leaking battery and rusted springs Plastic painted to resemble flesh And an old watch ticking in place of a heart.   Factory-made.     Wind you up And you smiled You danced You sang...
In the Aftermath: GRIEF

In the Aftermath: GRIEF

The person you loved—maybe more than you ever loved anyone before—and who loved you just as much, is gone from your life, never to return. Of course you’re grieving. But wait a minute, you tell yourself. You shouldn’t be grieving because you...
Fear, Hatred and Superstition VS Empowerment

Fear, Hatred and Superstition VS Empowerment

Early on in my trauma, I felt incredibly and unbearably vulnerable. And I hated the psychopath I’d been involved with. In fact, I hated all psychopaths. I feared them, too. They terrified me. I felt there might be one lurking behind every bush and every smiling...
Defeated? Damaged? Destroyed? TURN, TURN, TURN!

Defeated? Damaged? Destroyed? TURN, TURN, TURN!

“The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with...
“I Should Have Known”

“I Should Have Known”

  “I should have known.” Are you still telling yourself that, or believing others who say it?     “Life can only be understood backwards, but it must be lived forwards.” ~ Søren Kierkegaard   Such a simple phrase, and yet so...
I Promise You, I’m No Gigolo!

I Promise You, I’m No Gigolo!

“I promise you, I’m no gigolo!”   The psychopath I was involved with said that to me one night, out of nowhere. As it turned out, he was absolutely a gigolo. Even worse, he was a psychopathic one. His promise was broken. When he made that...
A Grin Without a Cat

A Grin Without a Cat

  “Well! I’ve often seen a cat without a grin,” thought Alice; “but a grin without a cat! It’s the most curious thing I ever saw in my life!” (ALICE’S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND, LEWIS CARROLL)   Alice’s trip into Wonderland would become curioser and...
The Psychopath: An Empty Boat

The Psychopath: An Empty Boat

If a man is crossing a river And an empty boat collides with his own boat, He will not become very angry. But if he sees a man in the boat, He will shout to him to steer clear. And if the shout is not heard he will shout Again, and yet again, and begin cursing –...
Your Feedback is Needed for Doctoral Research

Your Feedback is Needed for Doctoral Research

Your input is needed for a study on survivors of abusive romantic relationships with psychopaths and narcissists. This is a valuable opportunity to share your experience with a researcher who understands, and who wants to learn more. I have already taken the study and...