Do psychopaths have a gender?
After my involvement with the psychopath, I got the strange feeling that he didn’t really have a gender. When I learned that psychopaths have no identity — they only create one as needed — it started to make perfect sense. If they have no identity, it only seems logical that they wouldn’t have a gender identity either, doesn’t it? It didn’t seem to be an idea out of left field.
The psychopath in my life told me about many of his sexual exploits that supposedly happened ‘a long time ago,’ and he said that he’d had sex with men as well as women. I asked him if he was bisexual, and he said he was not. He said it would be hard to explain. It turns out he was right about that.
This idea of him being genderless persisted and seemed worthy of further inquiry. I went looking for scholarly works that might validate my theory. In my quest, I plumbed the depths of the web for things like ‘psychopaths and gender,’ but I came up empty handed.
Psychopaths definitely have a biological sex, according to their anatomy. But gender is psychological; it’s the social-sexual role a person self-identifies with. But the one kind of person who will surely not identify in a fixed way with anything about themselves is the psychopath. So why would they identify with a gender?
I suspected that they present themselves to the world as heterosexual, gay, lesbian, bisexual or transsexual, but underneath the facade they’ve chosen, they are truly genderless. So I set out once again to validate my suspicions, and this time, I found it. I only needed to look in a different place. Just as we talk and share information online, so do psychopaths. What better place to possibly find an answer than on their own websites?
In their own words, psychopaths say the following about their gender:
“Personally, I am gender fluid and identify neutral.”
“I don’t see gender as being anything more than a biological difference. Much like the idea of morality, it is a social construct. What that means for me is the necessity to choose which side of the fence puts my talents to light to the best advantage…”
“Any research you found (on psychopaths and gender) would be skewed by the fact that the most oft interviewed psychopaths are criminals, and since society generally associates femininity with weakness, the intelligent male psychopath would naturally choose to portray a manly if not completely chauvinistic personality. The only honest psychopath is an anonymous psychopath…”
“Psychopaths of both genders tends to represent the gender they were born with because it is easier, and most people respond to that, rather than the sexuality of minorities.”
“I don’t think that psychopaths struggle with their sexual identity at all. On the contrary, they seem to find it easy to play on both the feminine and the masculine sides in themselves.”
“I’m trying to find something about it (gender and psychopaths) from research sources but there doesn’t seem to be much to find so far. Maybe I’ve just been looking the wrong places, otherwise it would seem that we’re on a wild goose chase.”
“I haven’t talked to anyone who falls under the psychopath spectrum that feels very feminine or masculine, when questioned. Most of the women seem very aggressive, and the males “sound” roughly the same, in how the present themselves…It just seems suspect to me that most of us don’t feel very attached to one end or the other on the gender spectrum.”
“Like others I’ve read about, I never took that diagnosis seriously… But so much has become clear to me, which before used to be a great mystery…One of those things is our tendency to not have an inherent sense of gender!”
“It’s completely unimportant. Sexuality wise, I could go either way. I chose to portray myself in my real life as a homosexual for various reasons. I think what makes it impossible to delineate between how psychopaths view gender is our habit of being perpetually dishonest and chameleon-like. Were I a missionary I’d be the image of demure femininity and were I in prison I would be as masculine as any testosterone-stuffed man.”
“I have noticed that once we shed what has been called our ‘Mask’, the gender differences become less obvious.”
“I’ve never felt attached to a gender role before. I consider my personality and attraction fairly androgynous.”
♣ This comes as no surprise, and I’ll bet many of you have had the same hunch about the psychopath you were involved with.
…If you’re wondering if you are encountering a psychopath, read this book and you will know without a doubt.”
“Quite relevant and helpful, written in a useful down-to-earth-style which emphasizes the practical. Obviously written from direct experience.”
“The truth shall make you free… the description of typical behavior and common reaction to that behavior was more helpful to me in freeing myself than all the books on what a psychopath, sociopath or narcissist is”